


Don't Take The Girl

by Fricksgirl_32



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Acceptance, Anger, Angst, Backstory, Canon Backstory, Character Death, Drama, F/M, Family Drama, Fishing, Friends to Lovers, Funeral, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Healing, Language, Lies, Memories, Resentment, Romance, Tension, Texting, Therapy, Threats, Touring, Truth, Violent Thoughts, single parent, vocal issues, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 35,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24670723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fricksgirl_32/pseuds/Fricksgirl_32
Summary: Leighanne is gone, leaving Brian to care for his newborn son on his own. Will he be able to pull out of the resentment he feels towards his son or will it consume him to the point that will drive Father and Son apart?
Relationships: Baylee Littrell/Original Female Character, Brian Littrell/Baylee Littrell, Brian Littrell/Leighanne Littrell, Brian Littrell/Original Female Character
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [krazikrys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazikrys/gifts).



Brian sat in the hospital chair staring at the wooden door, his hands clenched together in a fist. He had just gotten some of the best but also worst news a Father/husband could get. His little boy was here safe and healthy but Leighanne was gone. He didn't know what to do, what to think. The day had started out so wonderfully with the family together for Thanksgiving smiles and laughter filled Brian's mind and ears as if they were mocking him. Wonderful memories now tarnished by the reality that was facing him.

So many thoughts were rushing through his mind. Why was God doing this to him? What had he done? Sure he stumbled and fell but he had always picked himself up and tried harder. As the voices clouded his mind, his confusion turned into anger. How could she die and leave him with a child? How could she choose his life over hers? 

Shaking his head, Brian rubbed his hand over his face trying to silence the voices in his head. He knew deep down it was no one’s fault, that these things happen. Cries could be heard to his left as Leighanne's family huddled and comforted each other. Brian put his attention back on the wooden door waiting for it to open. He knew it would take a bit for his best friend to get there, she was a good distance from him and was just about to sit down and eat with her own family when her phone buzzed with his text. 

No sooner had the thought crossed his mind when the door opened and a dark haired woman peeked in. Her eyes went instantly to Brian as she slipped in and let the door close behind her. She walked over to him ignoring the glares and daggers being thrown her way. It was no secret that neither Leighanne or her family liked the woman who was now comforting the man. 

“Yo..You’re here..” Brian sniffed, burying himself against her. 

Heather held him close to her, rubbing his arm. “Of course I am.” 

“Wh..Why is this happening?” Brian asked, his body violently shaking, tears staining Heather’s red shirt. 

Heather didn’t have an answer for him and knew he was trying to process what had happened just a few hours ago. Brian and Heather sat uncomfortably in the chairs but Brian’s grip on her hadn’t loosened since she had sat down and Heather had no intention of letting him go until he was ready. 

A sudden clearing of the throat caught their attention, making Brian and Heather sit up and look up, seeing Leighanne’s Mother and Stepfather standing in front of them. 

“You just couldn’t wait could you?” Shirley sneered. “We haven’t even buried our daughter and you’re already making moves.” 

“Shirley don’t please, you know Heather and I are just friends.” Brian cut in. 

Shirley huffed and crossed her arms. “Friends? You honestly think we believe that?” 

Brian’s face went red glaring at his Mother-In-Law. “I honestly don’t care what you think. I just lost my wife and I don’t need your judgemental shit right now.” 

Heather’s eyes went wide hearing her best friend, it was rare he cussed. Heather sat quietly as the two adults stared at each other. Finally, Shirley backed off but not without a huff. 

“Fine, but remember you have a little boy who needs you and I better not hear that you have this tramp around him.” 

Brian bit his lip watching the family file out, fresh tears slipping out of his blue eyes. “Sometimes that woman…” 

“Shhh, she’s just upset and angry, it’ll be okay.” Heather said reassuringly. “Have..Have you went to see your boy yet?” 

The sudden change in Brian’s body gave her her answer. It had become stiff and hard almost like he was trying to keep something out, like a wall had been built around his heart. 

“No..I..I can’t look at him..” 

“BRIAN THOMAS! DON’T TELL ME YOU ARE BLAMING THAT BOY FOR WHAT HAPPENED!” 

Brian flinched hearing her, he knew she didn’t mean to raise her voice but he couldn’t help how he felt. The voices in his head had been taunting him ever since the boy had been born, hearing Leighanne’s pleads to save their son. Heather sighed softly, her hand running through his brown curls gently seeing him lean into her. She didn’t mean to yell and knew this happened but prayed Brian would snap out of it once he saw and held his boy. 

“Come on, I’ll go with you, you need to try.” Heather encouraged. 

Brian sighed but nodded knowing she was right. He hadn’t even held or named the newborn, he had been too shocked at what had happened and had texted Heather before doing anything else. As the two headed down the hallway towards the nursery, an eerie silence had fallen between them. Once they had made it to the glass Brian bit his lip looking over the babies. The nurse inside recognized Brian and smiled softly before walking over to where his boy was, rolling the small cart to the window. One look and Brian’s stomach went into knots, almost throwing up. Brian quickly turned and ran to the bathroom, Heather sighing softly. Looking back at the little boy sleeping Heather knew Brian was going to struggle and she didn’t know what to do to help him, the little boy was a spitting image of Leighanne. After a few moments, Heather walked away from the glass and towards the bathroom making it just as Brian walked out, wiping his face off. He looked up seeing her before meeting her halfway. 

“I’m sorry.” Brian said softly. 

“It’s okay, I know everything is still open and raw.” Heather smiled, rubbing his back. 

He leaned against her and sighed softly. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” 

“You got a little one who needs you now.” Heather tried to reason. 

“How can I care for him when I can’t even look at him?!” Brian asked, anger flaring inside him again. 

Heather bit her lip, she knew shit would hit the ceiling if Leighanne’s family found out she had moved in with Brian to help with the baby, but she wanted to be there. 

“What if...What if I moved in temporarily to help you, at least until you feel comfortable caring for him on your own.” 

Brian looked at the woman next to him stunned she would offer such a thing. “I..I couldn’t burden you like that..What about…” 

“Brian, I want to help you. I saw how you reacted and the drive to my job isn’t that far.” Heather interrupted. 

The older man looked at her. He wanted her with him to help, he couldn’t even bring himself to look at the child much less care for him. He was a new Father and at a loss. He remembered what Shirley had said, putting the words out of his mind. He was an adult and could have whoever he wanted as a friend. It would be nice to have someone there with him, especially since he had a funeral to plan now. Finally he nodded and took her up on her offer.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days were a blur for Brian, he and Baylee had been released and Heather packed up a few things she needed not expecting to be at the house long, just enough to help Brian settle in and get him through the funeral. He still hadn’t been able to hold his son but he at least could look at him without almost throwing up. After much fighting and bickering between him and Shirley, Brian finally was able to make the plans he needed and now found himself at the table of food that had been made. He was still on auto pilot with everything and wasn’t fully there mentally. He had called everyone except Nick, he and the younger man were still on a no speaking term and Brian had assumed he wouldn’t have dropped everything and flown back from London anyways. He pulled out of his thoughts feeling someone next to him, he looked up meeting a pair of concerned green eyes. 

“Hey cuz, are you doing okay?” Kevin asked. 

Brian shrugged. “As good as I can be I guess.” 

Kevin nodded softly and sighed. “I truly am sorry she will be missed.” 

Brian stayed silent for a moment, taking a sip of his drink. “I’m sure the fans don’t share the same sentiment.” 

“Don’t listen to them Bri, you know some of them just can’t grow up.” 

Brian gave a half hearted side smile before looking out towards the crowd that had gathered in the Georgia home he and Leighanne had worked hard on for them and their future family. It was already too big to begin with, but it felt even bigger and more empty now that she was gone. 

After a few moments, Kevin spoke again. “How are things going with Baylee?” 

Brian lowered his head, looking away from the older man as shame plastered his face. Before either could say anything, the shatter of a glass silenced the room and caused everyone to turn towards the scene going on. Shirley stood there wide eyed looking at the woman coming down the stairs with Baylee in her arms. The older woman knew Heather had been at the funeral and had noticed she had stayed close to Brian and Baylee the entire time, but had ignored her, but now she couldn’t any longer. Brian and Kevin had pushed their way through the mob. 

“How dare you hold my grandson!” Shirley growled. 

Heather didn’t respond, holding the infant close to her as she descended the staircase into the crowd. Walking right past the woman heading for the kitchen. Shirley stood there shocked that she hadn’t even rattled the other woman. Brian walked over to his Mother-In-Law, Shirley looking at him. 

“I told you to keep her away from him!” 

“I will decide who is and isn’t in my son’s life, Heather has been a huge help these last few days and I’m grateful she’s been here.” 

“What do you mean been here?” Shirley asked, her anger growing. 

“Heather offered to help me with Bay while I took care of funeral arrangements. She’s been a huge help and I’ll forever be grateful to her.” Brian explained, not backing down and standing his ground. 

“That’s what family is for! You don’t need your little…” 

“That’s enough!” Brian boomed. “I think you should leave.” 

“Well I never….” Shirley huffed and stormed off, her husband following behind her. 

Kevin looked around the room and spoke. “Alright, go on about your business.” 

The crowd dispersed and Brian went to find Heather. He found her in the kitchen sitting on one of the stools feeding Baylee his afternoon bottle. He could see the dry tears on her cheeks and the redness on her face was redder than normal, a clear indication she had been crying. Ignoring the little one in Heather’s arms, he moved over to her, wrapping his arms around her. 

“Are you okay?” He asked. 

Heather nodded softly. “Yeah, I don’t know why she hates me so much, I’ve done nothing but support you and Leighanne.” 

“I know and I’m sorry she made an ass out of herself like that.” 

“Maybe..Maybe I should be thinking about heading out soon. The funeral is over and you seem pretty settled.”

Brian’s eyes went wide. The idea of caring for the child scared the shit out of him. Heather had been caring for his son since they had come home and despite her efforts to get Brian to bond with the baby, Brian turned his back each time. 

“I..I don’t know Heather.” Brian admitted, keeping his eyes averted from the child in her arms. 

“Brian, you can’t keep avoiding him, he needs you.” 

Brian let Heather go and gripped the counter tight trying not to yell deep down knowing she was right but his mind wouldn’t let him be reasonable about things. Kevin walked in and instantly felt the tension in the kitchen. He cleared his throat causing the two to look up. 

“Almost everyone has headed out and Kris and I are going to as well.” Kevin said. 

Heather burped Baylee and got up taking him over to Kevin, Brian still standing next to the stool. He watched as Kevin took the baby into his arms, his face going soft as he spoke to his little cousin, Kristin coming in to say her goodbyes as well. Brian truly did want what he was seeing in front of him, but he couldn’t get past what had happened so his son could be with him. Kristin handed Baylee back to Heather, Brian finally joining them. The two hugged their cousin and Heather before heading out. The house that was once full of conversation and chatter had gone silent. Brian watched Heather head out and lay Baylee in his swing, letting the boy sleep before starting to clean up. Brian walked in and began picking up the trash. 

“I’m sorry for earlier.” Brian apologized. 

Heather dumped everything into the trash, wiping the tables down. “It’s okay, I know it’s only been a few days.” 

“Yeah but I also know I can’t keep relying on you, I gotta try and push through this.” 

A few hours later, Brian and Heather were on the couch watching TV, Baylee was awake but in his own little world. Brian looked towards the swing and gulped, his mouth going dry.

“I wanna try.” Brian suddenly said, looking at Heather. 

She looked back at him. “Are you sure?” 

Brain nodded and sat up, eyes pleading. Heather got up and grabbed one of the throw pillows slipping it under his arm. Brian stayed silent as she got him situated. Giving a reassuring smile, Heather moved over to the swing and carefully picked the baby up and brought him over to his Father, laying him gently into Brian’s arms. Brian began to panic hearing Heather’s soft voice. 

“Brian, please calm down.” 

The man nodded and let Heather help him get his arm under the baby’s neck for support. She smiled seeing him hold his son for the first time. Brian tried to keep his breathing under control. Wide blue eyes looked up at him, a smile gracing the small face. Heather carefully sat down next to Brian watching quietly. Baylee began to wiggle his arms and legs kicking happily. Brian was doing good until he looked at the boy’s face and the memories came flooding back, hearing Leighanne’s screams. Heather instantly saw the change and got up, picking Baylee up holding him close to her as Brian’s breathing became hard. 

“I can’t….I’m sorry.” Brian got up and quickly went up the stairs, slamming the door. The loud noise made Baylee jump and began to cry. 

“Ssshh baby, it’s okay.” Heather cooed softly, rocking him gently looking up towards the bedroom. She knew Brian had taken a small step forward but there was still a long way to go.


	3. Chapter 3

“Do you have to go?” Brian asked, following her down the staircase as she headed towards the front door. It had been about a week since the funeral and Heather knew she had to get back to work. 

“Brian, we’ve been through this,” Heather replied, “I can’t rely on you and your money, God if Shirley found out you helped me this past week she’d kill both of us.” 

Brian shook his head. “I honestly couldn’t give a shit what she thinks.” 

Heather turned and walked back over to him, pulling him into a hug. She had been working hard with him to get him comfortable enough to care for Baylee while she was at work. As long as Brian didn’t look the boy in the face, he was okay. Brian’s grip on her was tight and unyielding, not wanting to let go. 

“Brian, I have to go.” 

He nodded and let her go looking into her eyes, he was still lost and the normal light blue that could pierce even the darkest of nights was still missing leaving a darkness Heather hated. She gave a small smile and backed away. 

“Everything you need is written down in the kitchen, I made sure to change his diaper and fed him so he should be good for a while.” Heather explained. 

“I know, I’ll see you when you get home.” Brian replied, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. 

She turned and headed out the door, closing it behind her. The silence of the house surrounded Brian as he turned and headed to the gym, he needed to shoot some hoops and clear his mind the best he could. He made sure to have the baby monitor with him as he bounced and shot the ball watching it go in almost each time with a few misses. He was just putting the ball away when he heard Baylee’s cries on the monitor. Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, he grabbed his phone and headed out. 

He moved into Baylee’s room and to his crib picking him up laying him against his shoulder, rubbing the baby’s back trying to calm him down. 

“It’s okay…” Brian tried, not sure what was wrong. Remembering what Heather had shown him, he laid Baylee down on the changing table to check his diaper, it was dry. Once the diaper and onesie was back on, Brian picked the boy up and patted his back thinking maybe he had an air bubble stuck. He heard a small burp and felt a bit of spit up. Brain groaned and grabbed one of the nearby spit up rags wiping himself off the best he could. Baylee had calmed down a bit but was still fussy, Brian knew Heather had just fed him and tried to keep him on somewhat of a feeding schedule. He grabbed his phone and walked down the stairs sitting in the rocker pushing gently with his foot getting the chair to move. Baylee seemed to calm down at the motions but it was Brian’s soothing voice that got the baby to go quiet. Brian continued to sing softly to his boy, both falling asleep in the chair. 

A few hours later, Brian woke up to his phone going off. It took a few moments for the brown haired man to realize it was his phone and carefully got up, holding his hand against Baylee’s back and laying him in his playpen. He grabbed his phone shock running through him seeing the number pop up on his screen, not expecting to see it. He answered his phone knowing this was going to be rough. 

“Hello?” Brian answered. 

“So you do remember how to use a phone.” Nick’s voice came through from the other end, it was bitter and angry. 

Brian closed his eyes, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. “I wanted to call but..” 

“But what Brian? Thought I’d be too busy? That I wouldn’t have stopped what I was doing to be there?” Nick seared. “You know how hurtful it was to find out not only that your son was born but that you also lost your wife through the news? And what's up with you and Heather? I know she's a good friend but the rumors are going nuts.” 

Brian sighed softly, he had done a few interviews and appearances on TV but the media had caught him and Heather out one day and was having a field day. Brian had done as much damage control as he could but knew he wouldn’t be able to convince everyone that Heather was only there to help and that they were only friends. 

“I’m sorry you found out that way and Heather's been here to help me out nothings going on between us,honestly didn’t think you would be paying attention.” 

“Seriously? Look, I know you guys were and still are pissed at me for going solo but I did this for me, to help myself and I’m sorry if none of you could see that!” Nick’s voice raising. 

Brian heard Baylee’s cries in the other room. “Look Nick, I gotta go.” 

“Yeah, whatever.” 

Brian heard the other end go dead as he ended the call and put his phone down. He headed back into the living room and picked Baylee up feeling the heavy diaper. Course now he would dirty his diaper. Brian looked at the clock and knew it was almost time for Baylee to eat and Heather would be home, something he was looking forward to, he had hit his breaking point and needed to get away from the infant for the night. Brian got Baylee’s bottle ready and fed him, burping him in between. Once he was done, Brian laid him in the bassinet that was nearby and started supper for Heather and himself, it was the least he could do. 

As he had gotten everything on the bar, the door opened and Heather’s voice floated through the large home. “Anyone home?!” 

“In the kitchen!” Brian hollard back. 

Heather headed upstairs to her room and changed before coming down and into the kitchen, the smell of food hitting her nose. She smiled and walked in hugging Brian and going to Baylee. 

“And how are my two favorite boys?” Heather asked, checking on the little one. 

Brian sat down at the bar and waited for her. “We are doing good but…” 

Heather turned and moved to the bar sitting down next to him, she could tell he needed to get away and nodded. “It’s okay, I’m so proud of you.” 

Brian smiled and reached for her hand, squeezing it gently. “Thank you for understanding.” 

She nodded and squeezed back. Brian said grace and the two ate, enjoying each other's company. They finished and cleaned the kitchen together before Brian went down to the basement and Heather took over caring for Baylee. 

It was late when Heather made her way down the steps leading to the basement. She had always been in awe of the huge area. All the awards along with the pinball machine and other accessories that were scattered around. In the corner was a stereo playing a song she knew well, it was one of her favorites never thinking it would take on a brand new meaning. As if a sixth sense had activated, Brian spoke softly as Heather neared him. 

“Leighanne introduced me to this song, we both really loved it.” He turned looking at the woman behind him. She had made it to the couch he was sitting on and could see the tears in his blue eyes as the song played. 

“I just never imagined I’d be Johnny…” 

Heather moved around the couch and sat down getting an arm full as Brian broke down once again. She pulled him to her and held him close, her own eyes stained as tears fell and the song started over again making her realize Brian had put the repeat one on now wondering just how long he had been listening to the song. 

She wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep in her arms, but she wasn’t about to wake him. She pulled the blanket that was laying on the back of the couch laying it over him and trying to get as comfortable as she could before drifting off, the baby monitor nearby.


	4. Chapter 4

Brian sighed softly in his sleep curling up closer to the solid warmth that enveloped him. Maybe everything had been nothing more than a nightmare, Leighanne was with him after all. Opening his eyes, reality once again shattered his fantasy as he looked up wide eyed seeing Heather laying next to him sleeping peacefully. He pushed the blanket off him and sat up suddenly feeling dirty. How could he fall asleep in someone else's arms? Trying to clear his foggy mind he heard the music softly playing behind him the events of last night finally coming back to him.

Brian walked over to the stereo and shut it off trying to calm his racing heart. He looked back at the woman who was now curled up sleeping on his couch and for the first time really studied her. She wasn't thin and curvy like Leighanne; she had some weight to her. Her glasses were being smashed slightly as she slept. Her short brown hair that had been dyed red going every which way. Brian let his eyes roam a bit further before snapping out of his daze. Shower, that's what he needed to get the thoughts out of his head.

Heading up the stairs and down the hall he stopped at his son's bedroom door and quietly opened it looking in. The little boy was moving around but he seemed content so Brian left him alone heading for the Master bedroom. Once inside his Master bath Brian stripped and turned the water on making it as hot as he could handle. Stepping inside he let the sting and heat take over almost like it was washing away all his fears and worries along with the thoughts he had just had. He dried and dressed before heading down the stairs. He heard voices in the other room and followed them. 

Walking into the family room, his heart skipped a beat and his face softened. In front of him was a woman who had taken on a role that she truly didn’t have to. Hearing his son’s giggles as she blew raspberries on his little belly was like music to his ears. Heather turned her head and smiled at him. 

“Hey there, feel better?” Heather asked. 

Brian walked over to the chair and sat down, his eyes never leaving hers. “Yes, that shower really hit the spot.” 

“Good, I’m so glad.” Heather replied. 

The two went silent, Brian looking down at his hands as he listened to Heather coo and play with Baylee, the little one giggling happily. He knew he couldn’t keep Heather here for much longer, she had her own life and he could tell she was wearing down from driving thirty minutes back and forth each day then taking care of both him and Bay. 

“Hey, why don’t you head on home.” Brian suggested. 

Heather looked at the man sitting across from her, laying Baylee in her arms. “Brian, are you sure? It’s only been a week.” 

Brian nodded. “I know but I have to be able to stand on my own two feet and not keep relying on you.” 

“Brian, I really don’t mind.” Heather insisted. 

“I can see how tired you are and I feel bad at how far you are driving to and from work.” 

Heather sighed softly looking at the little boy in her arms, that big smile on his face, those blue eyes full of trust and innocence. She wasn’t sure if she could leave him..or Brian. 

“If you're sure you’ll be okay.” 

“I will, I promise.” 

Heather nodded and they settled in for the normal routine they had become accustomed to. That night Heather made Brian care for Baylee, feeding and bathing the boy before laying him down. Heather watched from the doorway, she could tell he was shaking but was doing it. Brian turned on the mobile and walked away, Baylee falling asleep to the soft music. Heather moved away from the door waiting for Brian to shut it and join her. They headed downstairs and sat on the couch smiling softly at each other. 

“Please call me if you need anything.” Heather said. 

“I will.” Brian replied. 

She looked at him raising a brow. “Brian I mean it, I’d rather you call me and I come get Bay then you getting upset to the point where you hurt him or yourself.” 

“I swear, if I get to that point I will call. I don’t want to hurt him.” 

“Please do, I don’t care what time it is.” 

The friends hugged and Heather stood up heading upstairs to her room and packing, Brian following and watching her. He didn’t want her to leave, but after the thoughts that had ran through his head that morning, he needed to put some distance between them for a bit. Heather finished packing and walked over to him, her bag on her shoulder. 

“I’ll talk to you soon.” She smiled. 

“Yeah and know you’re welcome over anytime.” He answered, hugging her. “Thank you for everything.” 

“I’ll always be here for you.” 

They separated and Heather headed down the hallway to the stairs, Brian watching from above as she waved and walked out the door. Once she was gone, he headed back into the guest room and sat on the bed, it still had her scent on it. He laid down and curled up in the blankets falling asleep. 

Over the next few months, Brian worked hard to care for Baylee. He faced the ups and downs of caring for an infant the best he could, only having to call Heather a handful of times to come get him so Brian could calm down. Christmas had been hard but Brian did his best to make it the best first Christmas for Baylee as he could. Since Heather had left, the rumors of them being together had settled down, something Brian was thankful for. Now, Brian was facing the newest challenge and he wasn’t sure how much more he could handle, Baylee had been fussy all day and he wouldn’t stop crying no matter what he did. Brian could feel himself hitting his breaking point but he was trying to hold on not wanting to bother his friend again so soon. 

“Would you shut up already?!” Brian growled looking at the little boy crying in his playpen. Baylee had been pulling on his ear and his nose wouldn’t stop running. Running his hand through his curls, gripping them tightly Brian knew he needed to call Heather before he hurt the baby. Grabbing his phone, he found her number and dialed it. He paced waiting for her to pick up, he knew it was late and she was most likely asleep. Finally after the third ring, she picked up. 

“Bri?” She asked, sleep evident in her voice. 

“I’m sorry for waking you but I can’t take it anymore.” Brian rushed his words. 

Heather sat up and turned her side table lamp on seeing how late it was. “Brian, what’s going on? Is Baylee okay?” 

“No, he won’t stop crying, please come get him. I don’t want to hurt him.” 

Heather was up in an instant getting her shoes on, not caring she was in her pj bottoms and a T-shirt with no bra on, her focus was to get Bay out of harm's way until Brian could calm down.

“Just hang in there, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Heather replied. 

“Be careful please.” Brian pleaded, he didn’t want her risking her life or someone else’s trying to get there. 

“I will see you soon.” Heather hung up and headed out. She knew it would take about a half hour to get there and prayed the older man could stay calm enough not to do anything. 

Brian went back into the living room and did his best to get Baylee ready. He had the bottles and diaper bag also ready. He needed the next half hour to go quickly, his mind was already clouded with thoughts he didn’t want to have and knew they would only clear once the boy was gone. Finally, Brian heard the door open and looked towards the foyer seeing Heather walk in, guilt immediately hitting him knowing he had gotten her out of bed. He stood up and walked over to her. 

“I’m sorry.” Brian apologized. 

Heather looked into his clouded blue eyes and shook her head. “Don’t be, I can see the thoughts in your eyes. Let me get him in his seat and we will head out.” 

Brian nodded and stepped to the side watching her walk over to the playpen and lean down to pick Baylee up and laid him in his seat snapping him in before grabbing the bag and seat handle looking at him. 

“Take a few days, it looks like he has a cold. I’ll take him to the clinic tomorrow and swing by the store to get him some meds for tonight.” 

Brian silently nodded and watched her lay the blanket over Bay’s seat before heading out, Brian following and shutting the door behind her. He closed his eyes and slid down the door wishing the thoughts of hurting his son would disappear and not haunt him each time he broke.


	5. Chapter 5

Heather walked through the store pushing the cart, she had kept Baylee with her over the last couple of days. She had taken him to the clinic, discovering he had a small ear infection and cold, both now gone and Baylee was back to his normal self. Heather was grateful for the daycare she worked for. They were happy to let Heather bring the little boy in while she worked and she had no problem paying the fee. He had become a favorite and popular with the caretakers. Her and Brian had talked each day and he had calmed fully down, enjoying the quiet of the house and had been productive for a future endevour he had been working on before reality shook his world. 

“Alright buddy, let’s see what else we need.” Heather said looking at her list before looking at the boy in the cart, his hands batting at the plastic toys strapped to the handle of his seat giggling happily. She smiled watching him innocent and unknowing of what was going on in the world and what had happened to his Mother that saved his life.

She hadn’t fully thought about it, but the realization hit her. Leighanne had saved both her boys in different ways. Stopping in the aisle she looked down at the boy, memories flooding back to her as tears pricked her eyes. She’d never forget the day she had walked into Brian’s hospital room, a small smile hitting her face remembering how she had gotten past the security guard that was at the door…..

Heather slipped into the room, shutting the large door behind her. Inside were two women, one standing to the side while the other sat in a chair next to the bed. The closing of the door caught their attention, the older of the two women quickly walking over to Heather. 

“Who are you and how did you get past the guard?” Shirley asked. “I swear, you can’t find good help..Mark my words once this is over…” 

“Shirley stop.” Brain finally spoke from the bed. 

The woman turned looking at the man in bed. “Stop what? That guard doesn’t know how to do his damn job apparently, letting this woman in here...Unless.” She looked at him and her daughter. 

Leighanne looked back at her boyfriend. “Brian, what’s going on?” 

“Well if your Mother would stop trying to scare my best friend off, I’ll explain.” 

Leighanne looked back at her Mother and the woman next to her. “Mama please, if Brian knows her then it’s okay she’s here.” 

Shirley glared at the young woman getting close to her. “If I find out you two have something going on behind my little girl’s back I will make your life a living hell.” 

With that, the older woman turned on her heels and walked off towards the area she originally was. The air was now thick and uneasy in the room, Heather looking towards the man laying in the bed. Brian smiled and motioned her over, watching her move to the other side. Brian reached over and took her hand not caring who was in the room with him. 

“You made it.” Brian smiled. 

“Course I did, hopped the first flight I could.” Heather replied. 

Shirley watched arms folded over her chest, eyes glared at the scene before her. Seeing Brian’s hand in this woman’s had already convinced her they were seeing each other behind her daughter’s back. 

Leighanne cleared her throat getting their attention. Brian smiled towards his love and nodded. “I didn’t forget, baby. Heather, this is my girl and love Leighanne. Love, this is one of my oldest and dearest friends Heather.” 

Heather let go of Brian’s hand and reached out for the other woman’s. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Brian has talked non stop about you.”

Leighanne relaxed and took the other woman’s hand shaking it. “Good things I hope.” 

“Yes of course.”

The women let go of each other’s hand and Heather pulled the other chair up to the bed so the three could talk, Leighanne and Heather getting to know each other. Brian could not have been happier to see his love and best friend getting along, something Shirley did not like….

Heather shook her head and realized she needed to finish and get Baylee back to Brian. She grabbed what was left on her list and headed for the shortest line, ignoring the whispers behind her. 

“Can’t believe she could do that.”

“I know, guess those rumors were true...What a slut...Almost as bad as that so-called wife of his.” 

Heather sighed softly. Even in death, Leighanne was still hated. She paid for her groceries and headed out shaking her head. Opening the trunk, she put the bags in and shut it again before getting Baylee strapped in and heading back to her apartment. 

Brian was on the phone when he heard the front door open, a smile crossing his face as he finished up and sat his phone down. He couldn’t help the feelings stirring inside him, shaking his head, he pushed his chair back and headed out of his office. 

“Brian! You here?” Heather called. 

Appearing he smiled seeing her set the seat down along with the diaper bag, getting Baylee unbuckled and lifting him out of the seat. Brian watched her walk over to him, pulling him to her with her free arm giving him a side hug. Brian laid his head on her shoulder. 

"Feel better?" She asked.

"Yes much,thank you." He replied. "Got some much needed work done so I actually feel accomplished." 

"Good." 

They pulled away from each other,Heather handing Baylee over to him. Brian took a huge breath and pulled his son close. Heather turned and leaned down unzipping the bag pulling the bottles out heading for the kitchen, Brian following. He wasn’t surprised when he walked in and saw her cleaning the bottles out, setting them inside the drying rack. He knew Leighanne should have been here doing it. He sighed and laid Baylee in his bassinet he kept in the kitchen. He moved over to the bar and sat down, leaning on his elbows, chin in his hands. 

“So, what did you two do?” Brian asked. 

“Oh not much…. Went to the park, had ice cream, went shopping.” She replied, never looking up as she finished the last bottle. 

“Shopping huh?” Brian asked playfully. “So does your apartment look like a daycare yet?” 

Heather looked up, a playful shocked look on her face. “Why Brian Littrell, are you insinuating that I spoil your son as if he was my own?” 

“Well, you do act like he is yours.” Brian replied not thinking about what he had said until he saw the look on her face. 

“Heather, I didn’t mean…” 

He stopped when she raised her hand. “You’re right, I am acting like he’s mine and I shouldn’t.” 

“Heather, I’m sorry.” 

“Nothing to be sorry for, excuse me I need to go.” 

She wiped her hands off on a nearby towel and walked out. Brian tried to reach out to her but she pulled her arm away. Next thing he heard was the front door slamming shut and would never forget the tears he saw in her eyes. He sighed and looked over at the baby sleeping. 

“I massively screwed up Bay.” Brian said softly. 

Heather sat on her bed, the soft Dumbo plushie in her hands. It was the first toy she had bought Baylee when she found out he was on his way. Brian had been so excited when he had called her to tell her the good news. Things had been going well, her and Leighanne had become really good friends after her visit to the hospital, it was what prompted her to move from Kentucky to Georgia so she could be closer to them, but it had also given Shirley even more fuel to use against her. She knew Brian hadn’t meant what he said, but her mind continued to belittle her. She knew Baylee wasn’t hers and she needed to stop acting like it. Setting the toy down, she looked at her phone. Her and Brian hadn’t spoken for over four weeks and hoped he was doing okay with himself and Baylee. She finally laid down and went to sleep.

Brian groaned hearing Baylee cry again, he got up and walked out to the next room. He leaned into the crib and picked his son up rocking him gently trying to calm the boy. It had been sleepless nights for both of them and Brian wasn’t sure how much more he could take. 

“Come on, please calm down.” Brian pleaded, exhaustion in his voice and eyes. He knew what was wrong but he couldn’t get Heather to answer her phone. It had been four long weeks and he was at his ropes end. Brian did everything he normally would to calm the child but tonight nothing was working. He knew it was late, but he needed Heather’s help. He buckled the crying boy into his seat and readied the diaper bag before heading out towards Heather’s apartment praying she wouldn’t turn them away. 

Heather opened her eyes hearing the knocking at the door she groaned and pulled the blankets back. She turned the light on and peeked out the window before quickly moving to the door and opening it. She was shocked he was there after what happened but Baylee’s crying didn’t go unnoticed to her either. 

“Brian what’s wrong?” Heather asked, widing the door for him so he could walk in. 

Brian took the gesture as an invite and walked in, setting the seat and bag down. Heather closed the door but didn’t make a move towards either of them. 

“Please hold him, he misses you.” Brian spoke, the effects of the last four weeks were evident on his face. 

“Are you sure?” Heather asked.

Brian frantically nodded. “What I said came out so wrong, I know you’re not trying to take Leighanne’s place. I’m so grateful you’ve been there for us from day one...Just please..” 

Nodding Heather went over and bent down, unstrapping Baylee from his seat and picking him up, holding him close to her. She rubbed his back, speaking softly to him. Brian watched his son almost instantly calmed down at the sound of her voice. Once Baylee was asleep in Heather’s bed surrounded by the extra pillows, Heather walked back into the small living room finding Brian on the couch. She sat down next to him both silent not really knowing what to say. Brian reached out and gently laid his hand on hers. 

“Thank you, he’s been missing you so much.” Brian spoke softly. 

Heather bit her lip keeping her eyes averted. “I just didn’t want to cause any more issues.” 

Brian shook his head, wrapping his hand into hers and squeezing gently. “You haven’t, you’ve been a true blessing. I am sorry for what I said, we both got wrapped into the playful moment and it came out wrong on so many levels. You and Leighanne were so close until things happened and honestly I think she’d be happy knowing you are there for him...and me.” 

Heather looked up slightly shocked. “ I just don’t want you thinking I’ve stuck around for my own selfish reasons or that I’m trying to be his Mom.” 

“No never.” Brian firmly stated. “That’s not who you are and I know that. I love that you spoil him and do love him as much as you do.” 

Heather gave her first real smile since he showed up, it was small but there. Brian was happy to see it and pulled her into his arms feeling her relax instantly. 

“We okay?” Brian asked softly, his hand running through her short hair not really thinking about what he was doing. 

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Good, I need my best friend.”


	6. Chapter 6

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into almost a year and Brian found himself with a very energized crawling little boy who would giggle each time he crawled away from his Father causing Brian to chase him down and pick him back up bringing him back to the area he was suppose to be before darting off again. It had been a rough first year but he had almost made it, he wasn’t relying on Heather as much but she was still just a phone call away when he needed her. Brian watched Baylee grab onto the edge of the couch and pull himself up knowing he’d have a walker soon. Baylee turned his head and grinned at his Father, cackling softly as he walked sideways wobbling the entire time and falling on his butt. Brian shook his head watching him giggle and pull himself back up. His boy was fearless and didn’t let anything stop him. Brian was trying to forget what was about to happen in the next few weeks, his boy would be turning one but it also meant it would be a year since Leighanne’s passing. He wasn’t sure how he made it this far but knew he couldn’t give up. He was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt a tug at his pants, Baylee had somehow made his way to him, a huge grin on his face as if he knew he had accomplished something big. Brian picked him up and sat him in his lap. 

“Good job buddy!” Brian praised, tickling his son’s belly. 

Baylee giggled and squirmed trying to get away. Brian chuckled and sat him back down letting him play with his toys. The resentment had eased over the year, but Brian still had his moments. It had hit him hard on Leighanne’s birthday and had come the closest he ever had to hurting Bay. Heather had taken the boy from Brian for over a week refusing to give him back until she knew for certain he wouldn’t hurt his son. His next hurdle was in a few weeks but this time he knew Heather would be there to keep an eye on him. He didn’t want to have a crazy big party, just something small with family and a few close friends, he just prayed Shirley wouldn’t show her ass again. 

He looked over and saw Baylee trying to stay upright and saw the time realizing it was nap time. He got up and picked his sleepy son up, taking him to his room, laying him down. Baylee went right to sleep and Brian headed to his office to work on the birthday invites, it was so weird doing it himself, this would have been more Leighanne’s department. They were simple birthday cards he and Heather had picked out together a few weeks back and he had been stalling on filling them out and sending them but he knew they needed to be done. 

A few hours later and Brian had them ready to go, taking them to the mailbox and setting them inside lifting up the flag before walking back in the house. He did some housework and began supper while Baylee was still asleep, at least that was the plan until he heard his son through the monitor. He headed up and opened the door seeing Baylee up and jumping in his crib holding onto the edge, grinning happily. 

“Yes buddy, I see you.” Brian laughed, picking him up. He laid Baylee on the changing table getting a fresh diaper and wipes, Baylee trying to roll over. He finally got the new diaper on and fixed his outfit. 

“Daddy.” Baylee said. 

Brian’s heart melted and nodded. “Yeah, I’m here.” 

“Mommy!” 

Brian sighed looking into his son’s eyes. Baylee had just recently started talking and it hadn’t surprised Brian nearly as much as it had Heather when Baylee called her Mommy the first time, she was all Baylee had known, but it still stung. 

“Mommy isn’t here buddy, it’s just us.” Brian replied. 

“Mommy!” Baylee insisted. 

Brian nodded. “Okay buddy.” He took him downstairs and grabbed his phone dialing Heather’s number, smiling hearing her pick up. 

“Hey!” Heather answered happily. 

“Hey, sorry to bother you but I have someone here being pretty insistent on talking to you.” Brian explained. 

“Of course! Always happy to talk to my number one fan.” Heather giggled. 

Brian laughed and laid the phone against Baylee’s ear. “Say hi.” 

“Hi!” 

“Hi buddy, you being a good boy for Daddy?” Heather asked. 

Baylee nodded his head making Brian laugh knowing Heather couldn’t see the nod. “Mommy home?” 

Heather bit her lip, ever since Baylee had started calling her Mommy, she began putting distance between them. Brian hated that she felt she couldn’t come around and honestly was missing her just as much as Baylee was. He knew he wasn’t ready to date again so soon, but it didn’t stop the thoughts or feelings he had from swirling inside his mind.

“Yes buddy, I’m home.” Heather finally replied. They had tried to stop him from calling her Mommy and call her Heather instead but Baylee simply refused to call her anything else. Heather had hoped staying away would help but so far it was only tearing the three of them to shreds.

After a few moments, Baylee pushed the phone away and Brian brought it up to his ear. “Hey.” 

“Hey…” Heather trailed off. “I take it he’s done.” 

“Yeah, he’s got his attention on his toys.” Brian replied, setting him down on the floor watching him take off and following. They didn’t speak for the longest time, neither really sure what to say. Brian finally got Baylee situated and put his attention back to her. 

“How you doing?” He asked, trying to start some kind of conversation. 

“I’m okay, working.” She replied. “Gotta make sure those kids eat.” 

Brian chuckled softly. “Yeah, I got the invites done finally.” 

Heather smiled. “That’s great!” 

“You’re coming, right?” 

Heather was quiet longer than Brian wanted her to be. He knew she was worried about how Baylee would react when he saw her, especially with the family being around. They had no clue he was calling her Mommy and knew Shirley would go into a rage if she found out. 

“I want to but…” 

“But you’re afraid of causing another scene.” Brian finished, sighing softly. “I really miss you.” 

Heather didn’t know what to think or make of his confession. It wasn’t like he was looking to get with her or anyone at the moment but she couldn’t help her own feelings. “I miss you too.” 

“Just think about it, even if you come over before or after. We just want to see you.” 

“I know, I’ll talk to you soon.” 

“You know where I am.” 

They hung up and Heather looked at her phone, she missed them so much but didn’t know what to do. Looking to her left she saw the gifts she had bought Baylee wrapped and ready. Throwing the phone on her bed she fell back groaning softly. It was going to be a long day but she wanted to be there. 

Baylee squealed happily in his high chair seeing all the gifts sitting on the table waiting to be opened. Almost everyone had shown up except the person Brian really wanted there. He had barely made it through Thanksgiving and he was struggling to hold it together now. He and Baylee had made a trip to the cemetery earlier that morning and even though his son was still too young to understand, Brain was happy they had gone despite how he was feeling now. He was on edge, his mind clouded once again, he really needed Heather. They were outside on the back patio when Heather opened the door leading out, she sat the gifts on the table and tried to blend into the crowd but she caught Baylee’s eye. 

“MOMMY!” Baylee squealed. 

Heather’s entire body tensed up and the area went quiet quicker than it had at the funeral. Everyone was stunned at what the little boy had said. Shirley was quick to make her way towards the woman, Brian stopping her. 

“Don’t, not today.” Brian pleaded. 

“Then why are you letting your son call that homewrecker something she’s not?” Shirley growled. 

“We’ve tried to curb it but that’s what he keeps calling her.” Brian explained. “And she’s not a homewrecker or have you forgotten why Leighanne ended up hating her?” 

“No and I will never apologize for what I did and as far as I’m concerned until you cut her completely out of yours and Baylee’s lives I want nothing to do with you.” 

Brian shrugged. “Fine by me, she’s not going anywhere.” 

Heather stood there shocked that Brian would put her over family, Shirley looked over at her, her face stern and full of hate. “You never should have came down that day. You should have stayed in Kentucky!” 

“Get out Shirley, you’re no longer welcomed here.” 

The older woman looked at the man in front of her. “Fine, but when Baylee comes to me asking about his real Mother, I will not lie to him like you obviously have.” 

With that, she pushed her way through the crowd. Brian looked around and sighed softly before going around trying to do some damage control, apologizing for what had happened. Once things had settled down, he moved over to Heather who had found a spot in the shade trying to hide away shaking and crying. Brian bent down and ran his hand through her hair. 

“Hey, it’s okay she’s gone.” Brian comforted. 

“I..I never should have came.” Heather sniffed. “I’m so sorry.” 

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, I wanted you here and so did Bay. Did you see how excited he was when he spotted you?” 

“Yeah and looked at what it caused.” 

Brian shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, let her think what she wants, we know the truth and that’s all that matters.” 

A shadow suddenly cast over them making them look up seeing Kevin with a wiggling Baylee in his arms. He sat his little cousin down and Heather was instantly greeted with an armful, Kevin chuckling softly. 

“He was insistent on getting out of his high chair.” 

Brian looked up at the older man smiling softly. “Thanks cuz.” 

“Anytime and this may not be my place but don’t feel bad he sees you as his Mother, you’ve literally been there since day one, something I’m actually very thankful for.” 

Heather wiped her face as she held Baylee close, the little boy curled up in her arms, she was pretty sure he couldn’t get any closer to her if he tried. “Thanks Kev, that means a lot.” 

Kevin nodded and walked back towards the crowd. Brian put his attention back to Heather and his son. Kevin was right, she had been there since day one and he knew he would tell Baylee the truth one day when he was old enough to understand but for now he couldn’t have asked for a better Mother figure. 

“Hey buddy, you ready to go open your presents?” Brian asked. 

Baylee looked up and nodded before looking up at Heather. “Mommy..” 

Heather smiled. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.” 

The rest of the evening went as smoothly as possible and soon everyone headed out. Baylee had passed out in Heather’s arms. He hadn’t let her out of his sight the rest of the afternoon. She laid him in the crib and headed out, shutting the door. Brian was waiting for her right outside the door, she looked into his blue eyes and bit her lip there was something there but she didn’t want to read too much into it. 

“Stay with me?’ Brian asked softly. 

“Okay.” She replied. 

Brian took her hand and led her down the hall to the Master Bedroom, shutting the door behind them.


	7. Chapter 7

Brian strummed at the strings of his guitar, his songbook and pen next to him. He had about five songs written and one halfway done. Leighanne’s oldest sister had taken Baylee to give Brian some time to unwind and relax, she and her other sister along with Shirley’s husband Jack were the only members of Leighanne’s family who were still talking to Brian after what happened at Baylee’s birthday party. They knew how their Mother could be and were the only ones along with Jack who seemed to get why Baylee called Heather what he did. Laying his arm across the top of his guitar, he laid his chin down, his mind wandered back to the night of his son’s birthday. Nothing physical had happened but that wasn’t why Brian had taken Heather to his room that night anyways. He wasn’t ready to go that far but having another warm body next to him was something he had missed. He let the smile run across his face thinking about that night, Heather had been so cautious and worried about making him uncomfortable. He had calmed her down telling her he wanted her with him. 

The smile faded as he remembered what happened the next morning. He had woken up in a panic seeing Heather in bed with him. Once he calmed down Heather reminded him what had happened and that nothing was done. It took him a week to move on from it, guilt eating him on the inside. His mind had completely convinced him he had cheated on Leighanne. 

Footsteps on the stairs pulled him out of his thoughts as he turned his head seeing Heather coming down. She smiled softly bringing him a plate of food making him look up at the clock, it was nearly noon. 

“I thought you’d be hungry.” Heather said, setting the plate down on the table. 

“Thanks, I got lost in what I was doing, didn’t even realize what time it was.” Brian smiled, setting his guitar down and picking up the plate, eating happily. 

She sat down next to him, her eyes trailing over to the book laying out and opened. She knew he was trying to find a record label to take him on and had been writing the last couple of days while Baylee was with his Aunt. Heather knew the song he was working on had been for Leighanne and wasn’t sure if he would finish it. 

“Are you going to finish it?” Heather asked, looking up at him. 

Brian bit his lip laying his sandwich back onto the plate. “I don’t know.” 

Heather nodded. “You could and do it as a tribute, mean fans will always know it was meant for Leighanne even if you do decide to marry again or whatever.” 

It wasn’t like the thought hadn’t ran through his mind, but the more he looked over the words, the more they were taking on a different meaning to him, which in a way, scared him. This song was meant for his wife and once again that guilt began to fill him. He finished his lunch and sat the plate down onto the table looking at the woman next to him. 

“Can you stay?” He asked. 

Heather lowered her head and shook it. She needed to get home so she could do her clothes and get ready for work the next day. “I can’t, I gotta work.” 

Brian knew that but he had clung to some hope she would stay. He leaned over, laying his head on her shoulder closing his eyes. Heather smiled and wrapped her arm around him pulling him close to her. Her hand instantly went into his curls, playing with them gently Brian relaxing completely. 

“Thank you.” He said softly. 

“For what?” She asked. 

“Being here, never giving up on me or our friendship.” He replied. 

“I told you, you’re stuck with me.” 

Brian grinned nuzzling into her gently. “I couldn’t imagine being stuck with anyone else.” 

Heather hugged him tight, kissing the top of his head before he pulled away, Heather letting him go. She knew he needed those moments of comfort but they were brief and short. She got up and picked the empty plate up Brian watching her. 

“I’ll let you get back to it.” 

“I won’t be much longer, I wanna spend some time with you before you leave and Suzanne brings Bay home.” 

Heather nodded and headed back upstairs to finish up some packing then relax until he was done. Brian looked back down at the book that was still opened, he picked it up and looked over the lyrics. Heather had been with him over the last four months off and on, staying when she didn’t have to work the next day and even though Brian was guilt ridden each time, he couldn’t help not having her in bed with him each night. He had found himself waking up at times just to watch her sleep. As Brian read over the song, the words began to take new meaning and a brand new form. 

She had always been by his side, even after Shirley had gotten into Leighanne’s head planting seeds of doubt about his loyalty to her, using anything she could to fuel the fire. From Brian pulling a few strings to get Heather backstage a few times so she could see Kevin again and meet the other guys to her moving down to Georgia to be closer to him and Leighanne. It had gotten to the point where the questions every night had put a strain on their relationship and for a time, Brian had cut Heather out of his life, something he regretted the moment he had dialed her number and told her to stay away from him. Even after all that, she was still there for him that day, the best and worst day of his life, she was there. 

Brian hadn’t really thought about it but In a way, they had always loved each other but it was more of a brother/sister love, they had gotten close in school and became the best of friends. One was never without the other, much like he and Nick had been. Brian sighed softly, he missed his other best friend and hadn’t talked to Nick since that day a year ago. He kept up with the younger man but they still weren’t speaking to each other and Brian hated it.

As if he was possessed, Brian picked up his pen and before he realized it, the song was done with him only changing one word. He closed the book and stood up. He stretched before putting his guitar and book away, heading up the stairs to spend the rest of the time he had with Heather before she left, already hating the idea of sleeping alone that night. Brian and Heather spent the rest of the day together, playing in the pool until she noticed her shoulders and chest starting to turn red and knew it was time to get out. They cooked and ate dinner together before finally saying night to each other. Heather wanted to make sure she was gone before Baylee got home. 

Brian groaned softly rubbing his hand over his face, he had sent a demo out to multiple labels and hadn’t heard anything back. It had only been two weeks but he was getting antsy, he wanted to see this dream come true while he had this downtime away from the group. He had always wanted to record a Gospel album there was just never any time until now. 

“DADDY!’ Baylee yelled through the monitor. 

The man shook his head and pushed his office chair back, getting up and headed for the stairs to the boy’s room. Baylee grinned jumping up and down on his mattress, shaking the side of his crib. 

“DADDY DADDY DADDY!” 

“Yes buddy, okay calm down.” Brian laughed walking over to his son and pulling him out, the smell of a dirty diaper instantly hitting his nose. 

“Boy, we gotta work on that.” 

Baylee giggled as Brian laid him down on the changing table, the diaper had leaked making Brian groan. He had been in a hurry to get Baylee down for his nap and now was regretting that decision. 

“Oh well, you needed a bath anyways.” Brian said. Baylee made grabby hands for his Father as he undressed and cleaned him up the best he could with the wipes before taking Baylee out to the bathroom and putting him in the tub. He sat down on the floor watching while Baylee splashed and played in the bubbles and with his toys. As Brian sat there his mind began to cloud again, those voices finding their way back into his ears. Leighanne should have been there...would have been there had it not been for Baylee. The voices grew louder in his head.

"It would be so easy the water is right there." The voices taunted. "At least you would be free from the burden of what you were left with."

Brian took one look at the innocent boy in the tub and the water before his eyes widened as if something had cut through the voices and smacked some sense into him. He quickly moved away from the tub his breathing had spiked but he hadn't noticed. 

Curling up into a ball he closed his eyes and prayed. "Please God make it stop. I don't want to hurt my boy. I do love him and I know it's no one's fault."

Tears fell from his eyes as he continued to pray and beg for the voices to go away and the clouds to part so the sun could shine on him once again. As if his prayers had been somewhat answered a soft voice broke through the darkness. 

"Daddy?"

Brian lifted his tear stained face seeing his boy at the edge of the tub shaking slightly, the water had gone cold. Brian wiped his face and stood up grabbing the towel. He wrapped Baylee up holding him close and kissing his head. 

"I love you so much. I'm trying so hard not to let your Mother's sacrifice be in vain." Brian whispered into the soft curls. 

Baylee knew something was wrong and snuggled close to his Father, the hold around him tightening. Brian finally moved out of the bathroom and back to his son's room getting him dressed. He needed to get out of the house and packed Baylee's diaper bag. He loaded Baylee up into the truck in his seat, setting the bag on the floor making sure his stroller was still in the bed before he climbed in and headed for the park.

Brian sighed happily as he pushed his son's stroller through the park. The warm Georgia sun beaming down on him was welcomed and his mind was once again cleared. It was a fairly busy day at the park and Brian had been stopped a few times which honestly after the events in the bathroom he welcomed the interaction with the fans. He also knew the paparazzi had gotten a few photos of him but again he really didn't care. 

He made it to the playground and parked the stroller getting Bay out. The little boy ran straight for the slides. Brian quickly caught up and helped his son.

"Daddy push!" 

Brian grinned and gave him a soft push down the slide hearing the boy laugh as he went down. Brian was quick to make it down the small steps and help him up. 

"Again!"

Time was lost as Baylee ran his Father from one side of the playground to the other. Brian took a moment once they ended up at the swings Baylee patting one. 

"Swing." Baylee said.

Brian was amazed at how much Bay knew but he also knew Heather worked with his words when she had him and being at the daycare around the other kids had helped as well. He lifted his son up into one of the swings and pushed him, getting lost in the precious moment. 

The rest of the day was spent together going to one of the local museums and a special dinner at Brian's favorite sit in. It had been a rough start to the day but an amazing ending and Brian could feel his bond growing stronger with his son.


	8. Chapter 8

Brian threw his phone onto his desk groaning softly leaning back into his leather office chair. Another label had turned him down and he was getting frustrated. None of them could see past his Backstreet status and give him a chance to prove he was more than just a one trick pony. Running his hand through his brown curls he sat up looking at his list of labels he had sent demos to, there were only two left and his hopes to be signed were almost completely demolished. His phone suddenly began to ring making Brian for a moment consider not answering it, he wasn’t ready for another rejection. Finally, he pulled it to him seeing the number and quickly answering it. The response he got wasn’t the one he had hoped for. 

“What..the..actual..hell?” Nick growled. 

“Well hello to you too Nick, something on your mind?” Brian asked with annoyance in his voice. He hadn’t meant for the words to come quite like they had, but he was frustrated. 

“A lot actually but I want to know why the hell you guys went into the studio without me then sued just because my album was being promoted.” Nick snarled. “Were you guys really that pissed off at me...or maybe you’re all just jealous.”

Brian bit his lip tight not responding right away. He had hoped Nick would have never found out about what they did but should have known better. He finally thought of something to say and responded. 

“We were just hurt and trying to figure out why you would stay with them after we expressed wanting to leave.” Brian explained. To him, he saw it as Karma getting Nick back for not being there for him when he needed him, when he had needed all of them and they had turned their backs on him, putting the group before him and his health. 

Nick scoffed, “Is that really the best lie you could come up with? Amazing how you four want to continue to tell me what to do yet you went off and started a family. I didn’t see any of the guys giving you shit for that!” 

“Nick, starting a family is different.” Brian argued. 

“And now what? You got poor Heather running around taking care of you and your son. Some friend you are.” 

The words not only stung but pissed Brian off. How dare Nick accuse him of running Heather raggade and how the hell did he know anyways? 

“How would you know? Heather hasn’t been forced to do anything the last year, she’s been here on her own free will!” Brian practically screamed. 

Nick shook his head letting out a chuckle that only pissed the brown haired man off more. “You act like you are the only one she talks to. She has all our numbers and knows she can call us anytime. Do you really think we haven’t talked this entire time? You know how close we got when you introduced us. Or did you expect her to cut me out like you four have?” 

“We...we haven’t cut you out.” Brian’s voice softened, his entire body had gone lax as he melted into his chair, his mind now running a mile a minute. Was Heather only sticking around because she felt she had to? 

“Could have fooled me.” Nick replied, cutting off the connection. 

Brian heard the beep indicating the call had ended dropping his phone onto his desk, tears slipping from his eyes and down his cheeks. Guilt rising through his body and into his heart. Had he been selfish? Keeping Heather from her life? He knew he had asked a lot of her and she had taken it all in stride, never showing signs of he and Baylee being a burden or chore, but was it all an act? 

Wiping his face, he looked at his phone again. He needed to talk to Heather, needed answers. He needed to know what she had told Nick. Grateful Jack had taken Baylee back to the house for a few days, Brian picked his phone up once again and dialed Heather’s number putting it up to his ear. He knew she was still at work so he wasn’t expecting to hear her voice on the other end. 

“Brian? Everything okay?” Heather asked. She knew Baylee was with his grandparents so the call wasn’t related to the little boy. 

“I...I need to talk to you.” Brian stuttered out. “Please, I know you’ve been working practically all week but I need…..I need you.” 

“Brian, I work tomorrow.” Heather replied. “You know I don’t come over on my days I work.” 

“I know but…” 

He heard a soft sigh from the other end, his mind convincing him even that much more that he was becoming too much for her. “Look, don’t worry about…” 

“No, it’s fine.” Heather interrupted. “I still have a couple of hours then I’ll be over, will you be okay?” 

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon.” 

“Bye.” 

“Bye.” 

Brian disconnected and shut his phone off, he had had his fill of the device for the day. He got up and headed to the gym to shoot and work out a bit to try and get his mind off of what had happened. 

Heather walked into the large house, closing the door behind her and taking her shoes off. She was tired but the sound of Brian’s voice told her something was seriously wrong. She walked through the foyer looking for any signs of her best friend. Her ears perked as she neared the home gym and should have known that’s where he was. Opening the door, she saw him running down the court and doing an easy lay up. She let the door shut behind her as she walked further into the room. Brian finally looked her way and smiled seeing her. He bounced the ball as he walked towards her. 

“Has two hours really passed?” Brian asked, panting slightly. 

Heather nodded, looking at him trying not to let the thoughts invade her mind too much seeing him hot and sweaty. “Yeah, you been in here the entire two hours?” 

Brian nodded, moving over to the small table he had put in getting a drink and wiping his face off before looking back at her seeing the worried look on her face laying the towel down. “I took breaks in between, I know I can’t over work my heart.” 

He visibly saw her body relax at his words but he could see the tiredness in her eyes. She had to work a few extra days the last couple of weeks while the other cook was out. He should have let her go home, damn he really was selfish. 

“I’m sorry, I should have let you go home.” Brian apologized, guilt evident in his blue eyes. 

Heather stepped closer to him. “It’s okay, it sounded serious. Why don’t you go shower and I’ll meet you out on the patio, it’s cooled off outside a bit.” 

Brian nodded and headed out before he did something he would regret. He made it to his bathroom and stripped, turning on the water. Stepping inside he leaned against the wall letting the slightly cooler than normal water run over him trying to ignore the issue he had going on. He couldn’t believe she had gotten to him just by being close. His mind wasn’t helping his issue either. She was just downstairs waiting for him but God how he wanted her under the water with him. Shaking his head he began washing himself and his hair taking care of things before getting out and dressed. A few minutes later, Brian opened the sliding door to the back patio and saw Heather sitting on the small couch under the covering. He shut the door and walked over to her, sitting down looking at the concrete under them. Heather kept her eyes on him but gave him the space to speak when he was ready.

“Are Bay and I becoming a burden to you?” Brian asked, looking up at her. 

Heather sat there not sure what to say. Yes she was tired from the running back and forth but she wouldn’t change anything that had happened. She loved being there and watching Baylee grow as well as be the support system Brian needed. 

“No course not, I’m a bit tired from the running and working but…” 

“I knew it..I’m asking too much of you.” Brian quickly stood up moving away from her, his back to her. 

Heather sighed softly, once again her honesty had hurt and upset someone. She hated how everyone was honest with her and expected her to be okay with it but she had to lie to keep others happy. She got up and walked over to him, her arms wrapping around him, her head laying against his back. Brian’s eyes went wide feeling her behind him and his body relaxed on its own.

“You’ve never been a burden, you’re my best friend.” Heather mumbled softly against him. “I love you.”

Brian closed his eyes; he knew not to take those words the way he would have if Leighanne had said them to him. “I love you too but I don’t want to make you feel like you have to be here.” 

“You’re not, I want to be here. Brian, what’s going on?” Heather asked. 

The slightly older man turned around, Heather moving away but keeping her arms around him. He watched as she turned her head knowing she couldn’t keep eye contact with anyone for very long. She wasn’t good at hiding her feelings and her eyes were always dead giveaways. 

“Nick called me.” 

Heather looked straight at him. “What?” 

Brian nodded. “He found out what we did and called me. He was so pissed.” 

“Well yeah, was kinda a dick move.” Heather agreed. 

“We know that, why do you think we stopped? Anyways, we were arguing and he mentioned you and him talking. What did you tell him?” 

“The only thing I told him was I was tired and had been pretty busy which is why I hadn’t called him in a bit. I keep him updated on Bay and how he’s doing as well as you, he might be angry but he does miss you and he wants to meet his nephew. I know you’re still hurt over what they didn’t do but he’s hurting too.” 

Brian looked at the woman who had her arms around him. He didn’t know what to say but he did know he didn’t want her to let him go. He moved closer to her looking into her eyes. Heather looked down but felt his fingers under her chin lifting her head back up. 

“You didn’t tell him that I’ve been running you around?” Brian asked softly. 

“No course not, it was getting crazy there for a bit that’s why I told you I have to go home when I work the next day. You’ve really stepped up and I can see a difference just from the year alone, but I also see the struggle you are still going through. I never expected it to go away instantly but I knew if I kept taking care of Bay you would never bond with him.” 

Brian nodded his head in understanding. It made sense and he understood why she had finally put her foot down over it. He was pushing Bay onto her more than he should have. She had let it slide the first few months to give him time to grieve and mourn something he would always be grateful for but he also knew he needed to step up. Baylee was his son and he needed to be the Father the boy deserved. Heather felt Brian’s strong arms wrap around her and pull her against him. Heather was shocked but melted against his chest and warmth, feeling his head lay against the top of hers. It wasn’t the first time they had been this close to each other so the familiarity was there and welcomed. Brian had secretly always loved that she was the same height as he was. After a few moments, the two pulled away looking at each other. 

“I’m sorry, Nick really side swiped me with what he said.”

“No it’s okay. I’m glad we were able to clear things up.” 

“Yes, I feel much better and you’re sure you’re not just hanging around because you feel like you have to?” Brian asked again, needing the reassurance for his spinning mind. 

“Yes B, I’m sure. Promise I’ll tell you if it gets to be too much.” Heather promised. 

Brian smiled hearing the nickname and relaxed still holding her close finding he didn’t want to let her go. After a few minutes, he felt her let out a yawn and he let her go. “Heather, go home. I’ll be fine. Just please message me so I know you got home safe.” 

Heather nodded and hugged him tight before letting him go and heading around the house through the gate. Brian waved and watched her disappear sighing softly he already missed her and his arms felt empty. He pulled his shirt and shorts off jumping into the pool.


	9. Chapter 9

Brian sighed as he pulled down on his suit jacket looking in the full body mirror trying his hardest to remain calm and steel himself for what was about to happen. He had gotten a call about AJ going on the Oprah show to talk about his addictions and had been asked if he wanted to be there to surprise him. Brian of course said yes he wanted to see his band mate, it had been way too long. His worry wasn't seeing AJ again, that he was excited about, it was facing Nick. He knew the blonde had made the trip from London to be there. 

The knock on the door told Brian it was time. With a deep breath Brian turned and opened the door following his bodyguard down the hallway where the others were. After a few moments, Brian saw his three band mates standing next to each other talking. Howie noticed Brian first smiling happily. 

“Brian!” Howie grinned, walking over to the younger pulling him into a hug. “How are you?” 

Brian hugged Howie back, his body relaxing before the two pulled away, Kevin coming to join them. 

“I’m doing well actually.” Brian replied. “I can’t wait to surprise Alex.” 

Howie nodded in agreement. “Yes, I’m so proud of him.” 

“We all are.” Kevin spoke. 

“How’s the little one?” Howie asked cautiously but was curious. He had been able to make it to the house a couple of times to see Baylee but it had been awhile. 

“He’s doing well, growing like a weed.” Brian smiled thinking of his boy. 

“Heather still helping out?” Kevin asked. 

The red cheeks and shy grin didn’t go unnoticed by either men and they had seen it before. It was the same look Brian had when he first met Leighanne. 

“Yeah, she is.” Brian shyly said. 

Kevin and Howie couldn’t help the grins on their faces, their brother was falling but knew it would still take time. Brian was still grieving and they knew the resentment towards Baylee still had a grip on the man. Heather had been keeping them in the loop about what was going on and they were proud at the strides Brian had taken to be there for his son. 

Nick finally cleared his throat getting the other three's attention, Brian’s eyes meeting Nick’s for the first time in almost two years. The two oldest watched and were ready to jump in if needed. 

“Brian.” 

“Nick.” 

Howie stepped between the two, his back to Brian. “Nick, we gonna be okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m here for Alex, not for him.” Nick replied, his eyes never leaving the older man’s. 

Kevin laid his hands on Brian’s shoulders and spoke. “We are all here for Alex.” 

Trying to lighten the mood Howie looked at himself and the other three making a huge realization. “You guys do know Alex won’t be wearing a suit right?” 

The others let off soft laughs but the tension was still there. They got their five minute warning and lined up waiting for the wave to go on stage. Before Brian knew it, he was on the stage hugging his younger brother trying to hold the tears in. He was so proud of AJ and seeing him without the sunglasses was a sight to see. The interview went well and once it was over, the six were backstage chatting happily. 

“Thank you guys so much, you have no idea how much this means to me.” AJ smiled trying to hold the tears back. 

“We wanted to be here.” Howie replied, pulling him into his arms, the others doing the same. Dennis smiled watching the five back together, she had seen them go through so much and pull through it all. She had her guilt she had to work through. 

The five pulled away smiles all over. 

“It’s so good to see you boys back together.” Dennis smiled. 

“It’s good to be back together.” AJ commented. 

The comment sparked something inside them and Dennis saw it. “I’m gonna head out, got an early flight home.” 

AJ walked over to his Mother and kissed her on the head, hugging her tight. “Thank you for being here.” 

“Always baby boy.” 

She headed out leaving the five alone backstage. The tension in the air was thick once again and they hated it. AJ finally turned around looking at his bandmates. 

“How bout we go get something to eat and talk.” AJ suggested. 

The others nodded knowing they couldn’t stay at the studio. Once everyone had changed, they piled into the cars and headed towards one of their favorite places to eat. Settled down and in more comfortable clothes, the five brothers chatted as if nothing had happened but the air was still thick. 

“I can’t wait to meet that boy of yours.” AJ grinned. 

Brian smiled and nodded. “I know, he’s so smart already.” 

“I’m sure some of that credit goes to Heather.” Howie smirked seeing the red on the other man’s face. 

“More like all of it.” Nick mumbled, jumping slightly feeling Kevin’s foot kick him in the leg.

Nick turned his head seeing the warning look on the older man’s face. He went back to his food, eating silently. Brian looked at the blonde sitting across from him. 

“If you got something to say Nick..” Brian glared. 

“Guys guys, come on.” Howie interjected. “Tonight is supposed to be a celebration.” 

“Howie’s right, we are here to celebrate AJ’s recovery and the joy of having him back with us.” Kevin backed. 

Nick’s face relaxed, a big smile graced his face. “You’re right Kev and I’m sorry AJ.” 

“It’s okay Nick, I know these last few years have been rough on all of us.” 

The five went silent looking at each other, it hadn’t just been the last few years, the past years of non stop touring, recording, being with each other had gotten to all of them and there was so much still bubbling towards the surface. 

“I really missed you guys.” Howie admitted, laying his fork down. 

“I know, the break was nice but I miss the craziness.” Brian replied. 

AJ looked around the table. “So what do we want to do?” 

The four looked towards Nick the blonde looking back. “I’m ready.” 

The men finished their meals and paid before heading out, hugging one another. They were going to end the year and go back into the studio at the beginning of the next. Brian smiled softly settling down in his plane seat heading for home. He couldn’t wait to tell Heather the good news and see his son.


	10. Chapter 10

Heather pushed the swing back and forth with her foot watching Baylee play with his toys. He had them lined up as he stepped onto a small piece of cardboard Heather had laid out for him. She smiled watching him introduce himself grabbing her phone and taking a few photos and a video sending them to Brian. He and the boys were back in the studio laying down tracks, they also began promoting their new music. On top of all that, Brian had gotten a phone call about his solo album. Reunion Records were giving him a chance and the man found himself in Tennessee in between everything else he was doing. Her phone went off a few moments later. 

“I’m missing so much.” 

Heather hit the button and began to text. “I know but you guys are doing so much, you’ll be home soon.” 

It didn’t take long for a reply. “I won’t push him.” 

“I know you won’t, but you do have a potential future entertainer.” 

Brian smiled softly watching the video she had sent again, not hearing AJ come up behind him. 

“Is that your boy?” 

Brian jumped slightly turning to look at his brother nodding, letting AJ see the video. Brian watched the smile grow on the other man’s face. 

“You got yourself a little singer.” 

“That’s what Heather said, but I’m not going to push him.” 

AJ nodded in agreement knowing he would do the same if he had kids. “Yes, we know what happens when a child is pushed.” 

Brian sighed and put his phone away looking behind him where Nick was talking to Kevin. The younger man saw the sadness on Brian’s face. 

“Still not talking?” 

“Not unless he has to.” 

AJ shook his head, he knew both men were stubborn as mules and had a hard time admitting they were wrong, Nick more so than Brian. 

“Are we gonna have to lock you two in a room?” AJ teased. 

“No, he’ll come around. He always does.” Brian smiled, appreciating the mood AJ was trying to create. 

“Hey guys, it’s time to get back to it.” Howie announced, opening the door. 

Brian and AJ nodded, the younger moving in front of him turning. “You coming?” 

“Yeah, let me text Heather back so she doesn’t think I forgot about her.” 

AJ grinned looking at him seeing Brian shake his head. “Don’t..” 

AJ raised his hands. “I know I know...You’re only friends.” AJ chuckled going through the door. 

Brian sighed and grabbed his phone sending a quick text. “Hey, it’s time to get back. Talk to you tonight.” 

He smiled seeing the reply. “Okay handsome, talk tonight.” Brian put his phone away and headed through the door. 

Heather sighed and sat her phone back down. She stood up and walked over to the little boy who was still playing happily. Baylee looked up seeing his Mommy walking to him reaching out for her. 

“Mommy!” 

She held out her hand for the little boy, Baylee taking her finger and going inside the house with her. She put him in his playpen turning the TV on while she started supper. She smiled hearing Baylee jump and play while he watched the program. She finished the meal and got him in his chair setting the two plates down. Baylee ate happily, still making a mess but he was getting better getting most of the food into his mouth and not on him. 

Heather got Baylee ready for bed knowing Tracy would be by to get him in the morning so she could get home and ready for work. She’d been staying at the house so Baylee didn’t feel so jarred going back and forth. 

“Love Mommy.” Baylee said softly, yawning. 

Heather smiled, her hand running through his curls Brian refused to cut. “I love you too buddy.” 

She stayed by his crib until he fell asleep before slipping out and shutting the door. Looking down the hall she bit her lip. She’d been sleeping in the Master bed on Brian’s side but she always felt uncomfortable doing it. She couldn’t help it, his pillow smelt so good. Walking down the hall, she moved into the room and over to his side of the bed. She slipped into her pjs and laid down pulling his pillow close, her phone nearby knowing he would text her. As if he had heard her, her phone went off. She grabbed it and opened up their text. 

“Hey sweetie, how are you?” 

Heather smiled seeing his text. They had been getting close the last few months even though he’d been gone. They had texted each night back and forth before she went to sleep. Quickly, she hit the button and replied. 

“I’m good. Just got Bay down and laid down myself.” 

“Where are you?” 

Heather’s face turned red before texting back. “In your bed...I can go to the guest room.” 

“No no, I kinda like the idea of you laying in my bed.” 

Heather’s face was a bright red biting her lip. She went to text something but quickly deleted it before typing again. “I can’t help it, I miss you.” 

Brian sighed softly laying on his side. He missed her too, he missed everything about her. “I miss you too.” 

Heather sighed looking at his last text wondering how Leighanne did this. How she spent all those nights alone while he was gone. The house was so big and lonely when he wasn’t there. 

“When will you be home?” She typed. 

It took a few moments but her answer came through. “In two weeks.” 

Heather groaned not knowing if she could handle another two weeks without him. “Okay. I…” 

“You what? It’s okay Heather, say it.” 

“I love you.” 

Brian smiled seeing it come across his screen. He loved her but the guilt of moving on with someone else still gripped him tight. “I love you too, I better let you go. I know you have to work.” 

“Yeah. Talk to you tomorrow?” 

“Of course Sweetie. Night.” 

“Night.” Heather put her phone on the charger and snuggled down into the softness of the blankets and his pillow falling asleep. 

Brian watched the screen go black laying it on the side table and rolling over, his mind running. Could he really move on? It hadn’t even been two years yet. What would Leighanne think if she knew it was Heather he had fallen for? Leighanne and Heather had been friends at one time, but thanks to Shirley, that friendship had been severed. 

Finally, sleep overtook Brian as he drifted off with Heather as the last thing on his mind.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I can't thank you enough for the love and support for this story. It means so much and it has not gone unnoticed. 
> 
> Also, if anyone is looking for a place to connect with other fans or need somewhere to promote your fics, my facebook group BSB Fans United! are always looking for new members. We are a very active and supportive group! 
> 
> okay, enough promoting! lol enjoy!

Baylee bounced happily as he watched out the window for his Daddy. Heather chuckled watching him. She was excited to see her best friend. Baylee looked behind her grinning. 

"Daddy home?"

"Not yet buddy keep looking." Heather grinned.

Baylee giggled and looked back out the window bouncing happily. About twenty minutes later Heather heard Baylee's high pitch squeal.

"DADDY!!!!" 

Heather quickly got up and moved to the window pulling the curtain back smiling happily seeing the taxi pull up. Baylee ran to the door trying to reach up to open it. Heather chuckled and moved over to him picking him up and opening the door Baylee wiggling in her arms. Heather closed the door watching from the porch as Brian got his luggage out of the trunk and onto the ground. He looked up seeing the two standing waiting for him, Baylee wiggling trying to get out of Heather's arms and for a moment those feelings once again welled up inside him. The image in front of him was all wrong. Shaking out of his thoughts he paid the driver and grabbed the handle on his suitcase heading towards the house. 

Heather finally let Baylee go, the little boy running happily towards Brian arms open wide.

" Hi Daddy!" Baylee squealed, running right into Brian's leg, his little arms wrapping around him. 

Brian looked up at Heather, his hand landing in his son's curls. 

"Welcome home." Heather said softly. 

"Thanks." Brian simply replied, pulling Baylee carefully off him before walking up the porch and into the house. Heather watched him walk right past her before turning to see the little boy who just a few seconds was so excited to see his Father now tear stained. She quickly moved to the boy and picked him up. 

“Sshhh baby, it’s okay.” Heather comforted, bouncing him gently in her arms. 

“Daddy mad.” Baylee whimpered, burying his face into her shoulder. 

“No buddy, he’s not mad. Not at you.” 

Heather headed back inside, shutting the door, and sitting on the couch holding Baylee until he cried himself to sleep. She needed to talk to Brian and figure out what the hell happened but already had a feeling she knew. She carefully stood up and laid Baylee in his playpen making sure the toys were out of the way in case he rolled over. Taking a deep breath, she made her way down to the basement. 

Brian was sitting on the couch bent over his elbows on his knees, head buried into his hands that were fist together. She knew he was praying and trying to calm down, something had triggered him when he saw them, she just needed to figure out what. Carefully making her way to him, she sat next to him. 

“Brian..” She said softly. 

He turned his head looking at her, tears stained and still falling from his eyes. “Go home.” 

Heather bit her lip but stayed put. “Brian I can’t leave you like this.” 

“I said go home.” He repeated. 

Heather narrowed her eyes looking at the man next to her. “No, not until you tell me why you pushed your son away. He was so excited to see you.” 

“This isn't right.” Brian mumbled. 

“What?” Heather asked. 

Brian’s face scrunched up his anger becoming more evident as he looked at the woman next to him. “This isn’t right! You shouldn’t be here! GET OUT!” 

Tears fell as Heather stood up looking down at him. “FINE BUT I’M TAKING BAY WITH ME!” 

Brian didn’t say anything hearing her run up the steps slamming the door making him jump slightly. What the hell had he just done? 

Heather quickly packed Baylee’s bag and picked him up glad he was still asleep. She headed out and loaded him into her car, thankful at that moment she had the foresight to get her own car seat for him. She put the bag in the back next to him and got in, heading back to her apartment. 

The next few days were hell for Brian, he hadn’t seen his son since the day he told Heather to get out and hadn’t talked to her since either. Once his head cleared, he realized what he had done and was thankful Heather took Baylee with her but now he couldn’t get her to answer her phone. Sitting on the couch, he looked through one of the photo albums Leighanne had made, tears falling surprising him that there were even tears left. They had been so young and in love, so many photo shoots together, weathering every storm, every negative comment that was hurled their way determined to show all those who were against them that they weren’t going to give in and give up. Brian made it to their maternity shoot and had to stop as the memories flooded his mind. He had been so happy when she had told him she was pregnant and couldn’t wait to become a Father even if he was scared shitless. After his parents, Heather had been the first person he had called, just like he had done when he proposed. Heather had squealed in joy at both occasions and was there as support and a best friend, but now Brian was seeing her as more than just a best friend, something that was scaring him. How could he move on so quickly already and could he really do that without tainting Leighanne’s memory? Letting Baylee call Heather Mommy made him feel like he already had. 

Shutting the book and laying it on the coffee table, he laid back against the couch sighing softly looking around the large home. They had plans, big plans. They wanted a couple of kids, that’s why they had gotten such a big house but that dream like so many was now shattered. Wiping his face off, he picked up his phone and tried again, praying she would answer this time. 

Heather sighed hearing her phone going off once again, she knew it was Brian but she was still too pissed at him to even answer. She knew she needed to though, she did have his son who was playing happily with his toys she kept at her place when he was there. Finally, she grabbed her phone and answered it, letting out a heavy sigh. 

“Hello?” Heather answered. 

“Hey…” Brian said meekly, almost like a scared child. 

She wanted to stay mad, wanted to tell him to piss off, but it wasn’t who she was. “Are you okay?” 

“Yes..no...I don’t really know.” Brian confessed. “I just know this isn’t how I wanted to spend my small break.” 

Heather looked at the little boy playing on the floor happily, running his cars across the special floor mat she had gotten him making noises and sounds for each one before putting her attention back on the conversation. 

“How is he?” Brian asked. 

“He’s good, playing with his cars.” Heather replied. “He’s asking for you though, he cries himself to sleep wanting you.” 

Brian bit his lip, his heart breaking and the guilt rising once again. His boy needed him and he was failing him. What would Leighanne think? 

“I’m such a failure.” 

“No you’re not. Brian what happened that day?” 

“I don’t really know honestly. I saw you two standing on the porch and it just hit me.” 

“Do..do you need me to stay away for a bit?” Heather offered. “I know you are still hurting.” 

Brian bit his lip not responding right away. Could he stay away from her? His heart and mind were in such a struggle and war with each other it was tearing him to shreds. He replied a few moments later. 

“I think that may be best, for now anyways.” Brian answered. 

“I’ll bring Bay home, but you have to swear to me you will call if you need to be away from him.” 

“I will, I promise.” 

They hung up and Heather got Baylee ready to go once they worked together to pick and put away his toys. Thirty minutes later, she was pulling up to the large house that had become like her second home but she had respect Brian’s wishes. She got out and grabbed the bag and sat Baylee down on the ground taking his hand and walking him up to the door. Brian was happy to see his son and hugged him tight taking the bag from the younger woman. He thanked her and pulled Baylee into the house once the boy had said bye to Heather. 

With tears in her eyes, Heather turned and headed back down to her car not knowing when or if she’d see Brian and Baylee again anytime soon.


	12. Chapter 12

Shirley sighed happily at the scene in front of her as she sipped on her sweet tea, Jack was in the pool with Baylee playing with him, Baylee giggling happily. She was in a state of bliss which was more than the man next to her could say. Brian was only there at Jack’s request wanting to see his grandson, Brian wasn’t one to keep his son from his grandparents just because he and Shirley were at odds with each other. 

"Why Brian whatever seems to be the matter?" Shirley asked a small smirk on her face. 

Brian tried to hide the glare but it was clear as day on his face and in his eyes. He and Heather hadn't spoken since the day she had dropped Bay off and the older woman was delighting in that fact. 

"You know what's wrong." Brian replied.

Waving her hand and sitting up she replied. "Oh come now, this is for the best for everyone. "

Before Brian could say anything he felt his pants become suddenly wet looking down seeing his son dripping with water grinning happily as Jack headed their way. 

"Sorry about that little burger took off faster than I could catch him." Jack apologized, handing Brian the towel. 

"No, it's fine, I get splashed all the time during bath time." Brian smiled taking it gratefully and began drying his son hearing the giggles as he dried the boy's curls wrapping him up and putting him into his lap. Jack sat down in the chair next to Brian giving a soft and supportive smile. He knew the younger man was uncomfortable being at the house because of everything that had happened since Leighanne’s death but he was grateful Brian hadn’t cut them fully out. 

"Did you have fun with grandpa?" Brian asked. 

"YES!" Baylee exclaimed.

Jack smiled watching the two but he could tell in both their faces they were missing Heather. He was cautious in asking but was genuinely curious about how the younger woman was doing.

"How’s Heather?" Jack asked. 

"I don't know we haven't really talked much." Brian replied, lowering his head. He missed her so much.

"Good ridden, glad to see you finally woke up and took the trash out." 

Brian's head shot straight up looking at the woman next to him, his eyes were dark and angry. All Jack could do was roll his eyes; he was tired of the pettiness as well. He knew his wife was still grieving just like Brian was and couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose a child but taking it out on a person who hadn’t done anything wrong was ridiculous. 

Shirley saw the expressions shocked that they were looking at her that way, she felt personally attacked but she decided to ignore the looks and change the subject. 

“So I’m assuming you want us to watch your son while you go out galloping venting around the country with those four you call brothers.” 

Brian’s eyes went from dark blue to red as he pulled Baylee against him and stood up. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Shirley…” Jack tried but went quiet seeing his wife’s face.

“No Jack, I’ve stayed quiet too long about this.” She looked up at the man in front of her. “You need to get your head out of the clouds and think of the future, you have a son now. How long do you think this group thing is going to last?” 

Brian couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “It’ll last for as long as we can make it last.” 

Shirley scoffed. “Then what? How are you going to provide? I swear my daughter should have listened to me. I warned her not to get involved with someone who was constantly on the road doing who knows what and with who knows who.” 

Brian held onto his son realizing he had fallen asleep, Brian’s eyes never leaving Shirley’s. “I never once cheated on Leighanne while I was out. We worked hard to make our relationship turn into what it was and to answer your question no, he’ll be going on the road with me.” 

The older woman laughed. “And who’s going to watch him? Those other men you run around with? Is that the kind of example you want to set for your son? The kind of influence you want him to have? Being around not just one but two druggies?” 

Brian could feel his anger rising, his hands balling up into fist the best they could while holding Baylee. He never in life wanted to hit a woman as much as he did at that moment but he didn’t. 

“I’d rather have him around people like them than a self centered, judgemental, grudge holding woman like you!” 

Before anything else could be said, Brian stormed into the house and out the front door. Shirley looked at her husband shocked and beside herself. 

“Well aren’t you going to say anything?” She asked. 

Jack simply stood up and looked at his wife. “I love you but every word he said was true.” With that, he headed into the house to change leaving his wife on the back patio. 

Brian drove as the tears fell, he knew where he was going but it didn’t stop the autopilot from coming on. He didn’t even remember when the city had merged into woods as he headed down the side road towards the cemetery. Pulling into the small drive he looked up in the rear view mirror seeing Baylee awake looking out the window. He had only brought his son here a handful of times, this had always been something he would do on his own to either calm down after an episode or to just grieve. He shut the truck off and got out before opening the back door and unstrapping Baylee. The boy wiggled out of his seat and with Brian’s help landed safely on the ground. 

Taking his Father’s hand, Baylee quietly toddled along. Brian had always been amazed at how well behaved Baylee always was when they came to visit. It had worried Brian at first but on the other side of things he didn’t want his son afraid either, death was part of life. Baylee’s face widened into a smile as they neared their destination. A black and white marbled stone stood in front of them, Brian had spared no expense, his love deserved the best for her final resting place, no matter how too soon it was. 

Not caring about his pants, Brian sat down in front of the stone looking it over, Baylee plopping down into his Father’s lap, leaning against him, staying quiet. He had decided to put his name and birth date on it as well that way they would only have to worry about adding his death date. Shaking his head and not wanting to think about it, he spoke softly. 

“Hey love, I know it’s been awhile and I’m sorry for that.” Brian began, tears falling. “The fellas and I are back in the studio and I’m in the early steps of getting my solo dream off the ground. I wish you were here to see it all unfold and happen.” 

Baylee laid there quietly listening to his Father before lifting up and looking at his Dad. “Daddy’s fwiend?” 

Brian nodded softly. He knew Baylee was still too young to truly understand who it was they were visiting and knew once he was older he would tell his son the truth. “Yeah buddy it is.” 

“Daddy misses his fwiend?” 

Brian pulled his son tightly to him. “Yeah, so much.” 

After a few moments, Baylee wiggled out of his Father’s arm, Brian letting him go, watching his little boy toddle over to the stone.

“Careful Baylee.” 

The curly blonde boy looked back at his Dad and nodded softly. Once close enough, Baylee reached out and laid his small hand against the hard marble, Brian watching closely but not interrupting, tears flowing freely. 

“Hi, I’m Baylee.” Baylee spoke. “Daddy weally misses you but he’s otay, don’t worry.” 

Brian raised his hand and wiped the tears as Baylee spoke to his Mother’s grave, his little hand hadn’t moved from the L in her name. It was at that moment Brian realized he needed Heather and her support. He needed his best friend in his life and at his side, even if they simply remained friends, he needed her. 

After a few more minutes of Brian and Baylee talking to Leighanne’s grave, Brian took his boy’s hand and led him away. Baylee turned his little head and reached back with his little hand waving. 

“Bye Daddy’s fwiend.” 

Brian stopped and looked down at his son. “Her name’s Leighanne.” 

Baylee still looking back said. “Bye We-an.” With that, the two headed back to the truck and drove off.


	13. Chapter 13

Heather was sitting on her couch when the sudden knock hit her door. Eyes wide, she jumped up and quickly ran into her room which was just a few steps away from the living room but she wasn’t expecting company so she was only half dressed. Grabbing her PJ bottoms from the floor, she slipped them on before walking out towards the door opening it. 

“Br..Brian?” She asked, shocked he was there. 

Baylee bounced happily seeing the woman at the door. “Hi Mommy!” 

She smiled down at him. “Hey Baylee.” She looked back up to the man she called her best friend. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her and she could see the sadness and regret in his.

“Can we come in please, we need to talk.” Brian finally spoke. 

“Yes of course.” Heather nodded stepping to the side to let them in. Baylee instantly let go of Brian’s hand running straight for his toys, wrapping his arms around the clothed storage box Heather had bought to store his toys in. 

“Mommy helps!” Baylee grunted trying to pull the heavy box. 

“Baylee..” 

She felt Brian’s hand on her arm making her look at him trying to ignore the sparks. Brian’s face went soft as a small smile graced his face. 

“It’s okay, it’ll keep him occupied while we talk.” 

Heather nodded and moved over to the boy helping him, Brian watching trying to ignore the voices in his head that always came around when he saw Heather and Baylee together. He moved over to the couch as Heather got Baylee set up on his special mat with his cars. The little boy sunk into his own world playing with his cars. Once Heather had the boy completely settled, she took a breath and walked over to where Brian was, sitting down next to him. 

The two adults sat there silently side by side, the only noise in the room was Baylee playing, something they both were relishing in at the moment until Brian finally spoke. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Heather looked at him shocked, it was the last thing she expected to hear from him. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” 

“I do, I pushed you away and I never should have.” 

Heather turned, their knees touching, her hands going into his holding them. Brian looked up into her chocolate brown eyes before looking away, there were emotions along with other things he didn’t want to see or deal with. 

“Bri, you are still grieving your loss, you needed that space.” Heather reasoned. 

“It’s only been a few days though.” Brian countered. 

Heather couldn’t help the small laugh. “Yeah, we were never good at staying away from each other.” 

Brian let his own chuckle out, the smile getting a bit bigger. “No, we weren’t. Mom was so sure we were gonna end up together.” 

Heather bit her lip looking down, Brian lifting it back up making her meet his eyes. “Hey, don’t do that.” 

“Sorry.” 

His hand didn’t move and she suddenly felt her face moving closer to his. She didn’t know what to think, what to do. Should she stop him? 

“Brian…”

“Heather…” 

They were almost face to face when a smack on his leg broke the daze. The two pulled away looking at a grinning Baylee. Heather sat back up, her face a bright red. Brian cleared his throat and put his attention on his son. 

“What’s up bud?” Brian asked. 

“Daddy look!” Baylee held up his red car. 

“Oooo! Very nice. You know Daddy used to have a red truck.” 

Heather couldn’t help the grin on her face thinking about that old truck. Baylee grinned and hugged his Dad before running back to his toys playing happily once again leaving the air between the best friends thick and awkward. It was Heather who spoke trying to lighten the tension between them. 

“So..What did you need to talk to me about?” She asked. 

It took Brian a moment to remember why he had driven out her way after their visit to the cemetery. He finally got his thoughts collected and looked at her. 

“Shirley and I got into it and she accused me of running off on Bay so the fellas and I can work on the new album. In my anger, I told her I was going to take him with me.” Brian explained. “I..I was hoping you would come out with me.” It sounded wrong in his own ears, he was asking her basically to drop everything and become his babysitter. 

“Brian I...I can’t drop everything. I have bills and…” 

“I’ll pay your bills.” Brian quickly interjected. 

Heather firmly shook her head. “Brian no, I couldn’t have you do that. The fans and Shirley already think I’m after you for your money.” 

“Fuck what they think!” Brian said a bit louder than he had meant to, getting his son’s attention. “Sorry buddy, go back to playing.” 

Baylee turned back around putting his attention on his toys. Brian sighed letting his body slouch back against the couch closing his eyes. He didn’t know what he was going to do, he did not want to go back to Shirley with his tail between his legs. Heather saw the stress on his face and hated it. There was so much going through her mind if she agreed to this. She’d have to quit her job and then there was the money issue. She knew he would pay for everything if she let him but she didn’t work that way. She reached over and laid her hand over his, getting his attention. He opened his eyes looking down at her. 

“You’re gonna have to give me two weeks, I won’t just up and leave my job.” 

Brian sat back up not sure he had heard her right. “Wh..what?” 

“I’ll do it, I’ll watch Bay for you while you record with the others.” 

“And the money?” Brian asked. 

Heather sighed. “I’ll let you pay, but..” 

She stopped feeling his fingers on her lips. She did everything in her power not to do something she’d regret. After a few moments, she felt him pull his hand away before wrapping his arms around her pulling her against him. She melted into him, closing her eyes. They had cuddled multiple times when they were younger, but there was more and it was something neither could avoid much longer, they would have to talk about this subject soon but for now they were content. 

Out of habit, Brian felt his hand reach up and run his fingers through her hair and down her cheek gently. It had always been his way to comfort her when she was upset over something, once he started dating, he stopped doing it. Heather understood but it didn’t mean she didn’t miss it. 

“I always loved when you did that.” She mumbled. 

Brian smiled softly, his fingers still stroking over her cheek and through her hair. “I know and I know I hurt you when I stopped.” 

“You had to, you were dating.” 

Brian sighed, in a way he regretted ending their cuddle nights. He never dreamed she’d be back in his arms, he truly believed he was set for life. Losing Leighanne reminded him that life was short and fleeting, to embrace each day he was blessed to wake up to. He looked over to his left seeing Baylee asleep on his play mat, it had been a long day for both of them. 

Turning his attention back to the woman in his arms he could tell she had also fallen asleep. Her breathing was soft and even, her body heavy against him. He held her close, feeling his own eyes getting heavy. He was too comfortable to move her, feeling the blanket behind him, he pulled it carefully out from behind him and laid it over them. Heather shifted in her sleep but didn’t wake up, snuggling close to him. Taking her glasses off gently, he laid them on the nearby side table before he laid his head on hers and closed his eyes. 

“I love you.” He whispered into her hair, drifting off to sleep. 

The next two weeks felt longer than they actually were. Her and Brian had agreed to let Baylee stay with her and the caretakers along with Baylee's friends were so happy yet sad at the same time. They knew Heather was doing this to help her friend but her boss couldn't promise her position back. Heather knew that and understood. Her last day was full of tears and good lucks, Brian had already paid for their plane tickets and packed most of what Bay would need leaving Heather to bring his backpack,car seat, and her suitcase.

Now Heather was sitting in Brian's rental trying to ignore the cars all around them. She had heard nightmare stories of LA traffic but seeing it only made it worse. Brian looked over and saw her almost curled up completely into a ball. He reached over and laid his hand on her leg. 

"Hey it'll be okay." He said softly.

"I know and I trust you. It's everyone else I dont trust." She sighed holding his hand.

Brian knew he had pulled her completely out of her comfort zone. She was a country girl in a huge city and after her accident when she was younger the fear of heavy traffic never fully left her. He squeezed her hand gently hearing Baylee in the back giggling happily as he played with the few toys he had with him. 

Finally, the trio had made it back to the recording studio, Brian leading them in and down the hall to the sound booth they were using. Baylee looked around confused on what was going on until Brian opened the door and the little boy’s ears picked up on familiar voices he knew. 

The group turned hearing the door, Kevin and Howie smiling happily seeing Brian walk in with Baylee, Heather behind them. The two older men walked straight to them, Kevin pulling Heather into his arms hugging her tight. 

“So happy to see you again.” Kevin said. 

Heather relaxed against the older man hugging back. “Yes, same here.” 

They pulled away only for Heather to be pulled into another set of arms. She giggled softly looking into a pair of brown eyes that matched her own. 

“Hey Howie!” She grinned. 

“Hey there, glad you made it safely.” Howie replied, letting her go feeling his legs being attacked. He looked down and chuckled seeing the moppy blonde hair. 

“Hey squirt.” 

Baylee looked up grinning happily at his Uncle, lifting his little arms. “Up peas.” 

Howie chuckled and bent down picking the little boy up getting an instant hug around the neck. Heather grinned feeling a pair of arms pulling her back in while Brian watched quietly trying to ignore the slight ping of jealousy welling up inside him. His cousin and Heather were just as close as they were despite the small age gap between them, they had bonded almost as instantly as her and Brian had and in a way, Brian had always been a tad bit jealous. 

Heather’s playful scolding towards Kevin pulled him out of thoughts. She was teasing him about Kristin finding out about him loving on her, Kevin quickly replying that his wife was well aware he couldn’t live without her. It hit Brian right in the heart but he quickly shook it away. 

AJ and Nick were standing to the side watching quietly. They were nervous about meeting their nephew for the first time and weren't sure how the little boy would respond to them. Brian looked over seeing the two youngest and looked at Howie. 

“Here, let me have Bay.” Brian kindly requested, holding his arms out. 

Howie nodded handing the little boy over. Baylee went into Brian’s arms, curling up close. Brian headed over to the youngest members and realized the closer he got, the closer Baylee tried to get to him. Brian chuckled watching his son go from full confidence to complete shyness. 

Brian stopped just a few inches from the other two smiling softly. He looked at his son seeing Baylee had laid his head on his shoulder, his little hand up against his mouth. 

“Bay, this is your Uncle AJ and Uncle Nick.” Brian introduced for the first time. “Can you say Hi?” 

Baylee reached his small hand out and gave a small wave before pulling it back to him. The youngest looked at each other, Nick nodding letting the older go first. AJ smiled and closed the few inches that were between them. 

“Hey Bubs, nice to meet ya.” AJ smiled, watching Bay turn his head. AJ grinned and moved around Brian, Baylee turning his head back around. Brian chuckled watching the two go back and forth for a few minutes. 

Brian smiled watching the two connect and bond, he also liked the name Bubs and decided to start using it instead of buddy. Heather, Kevin, and Howie watched from the small distance the booth allowed, Heather still in Kevin’s arms. They were happy to see the two bonding but were worried about Nick. Brian and Nick had begun to rekindle their friendship but it would still take time. The men locked eyes with each other and AJ noticed, slipping back towards where the other three were standing. He took the spot on the other side of Howie and watched silently, praying this would break that final wall between Nick and Brian. 

Slowly, Brian closed the gap, Baylee trying to wiggle away, Brian holding him tight. “It’s okay Bubs.” He felt his son calm down and turn back around looking at the blonde in front of him. Nick smiled softly reaching out for him. 

“Hey there, I’ve heard so much about you.” Nick said in a soft voice hoping to bring the little boy out of hiding. Baylee slowly sat up reaching out for his Uncle, Nick looking at Brian. 

“Go ahead.” 

Nick reached out for the little boy taking Baylee into his arms, the others watching with smiles on their faces. Nick looked at the older man he once called his best friend and wanted to do so once again. 

“Bri, can we talk later? Like really talk?” Nick asked. 

Brian smiled seeing the hopeful look on the younger man’s face. “Of course we can.” 

Heather and the other three men looked at each other with smiles gracing their faces, Frick and Frack were on the mend.


	14. Chapter 14

The next couple of years were a whirlwind for Brian, between working on their new album which now had its first single spurring a small Up Close and Personal tour before the main run to him working on his solo album when he could, Brian was constantly on the go. He and Nick had for the most part patched up their relationship and the old them began to peek out once again, they were hugging and loving on each other and much to Howie’s dismay, back to their old pranks. That wasn’t the only thing that had grown, he and Heather were practically together despite them denying it to the public. He was still struggling in some areas but the pain, regret, resentment, and guilt were finally easing to the point where it wasn’t running his life completely. 

Never Gone was released and despite the review from Rolling Stones, it did well and went Platinum in the States and the other singles had also done well. The tour started in the States, Baylee getting his first taste of being on tour and what Daddy, his Cousin, and Uncles did. He was on stage with them during soundcheck, giving lucky fans something a bit extra and special. Heather watched from the side of the stage watching the little boy run around the stage and the guys playing and spending time with him. Her favorite moments were when Brian was with his son, watching Brian setup Baylee’s own personal little mic stand. Her favorite was the night Brian had tried to get Baylee to take his own little mic but the little boy grabbed his Father’s instead, handing Brian his. Baylee had the bug and was at home on the stage just as much as the guys were. 

They were on their two week break but Brian wasn’t stopping, he was determined to get his album done and took the opportunity to lay some of the tracks down. Heather smiled as she sat on the padded couch watching Brian show Baylee the controls of the soundboard, the producer making sure nothing would be deleted or ruined. Once lunch was over, Brian headed back into the recording booth to lay down the next track. Baylee patted Heather’s lap getting her attention. 

“What is it Bubs?” Heather asked. 

“Daddy is singing again!” Baylee grinned. 

Heather nodded, running her hand through his shorter curls. She had finally talked Brian into at least cutting the boy’s hair back to where it was manageable. Baylee bounced happily listening to his Father sing, Heather not catching on to what it was he was saying her attention on Baylee. 

Baylee leaned down and grabbed one of the books Heather had brought with them. She helped him into her lap letting him settle down. 

"You wanna read? Heather asked. 

“Mommy wead.” Baylee replied. 

Heather chuckled and nodded opening the book finding the place they had left off. She still got tongue tied whenever she read outloud but she loved doing it and knew it would help Baylee with his own vocabulary. After a few minutes, Brian opened the door once again and smiled watching Heather read to his son, the voices were still there but not as loud. They had become almost like whispers in the wind, blowing right past him. He shut the door and walked back over to the chair he was sitting in talking to the producer. 

The clearing of his throat caught Heather’s attention. “Hey, when did you get back here?” 

Brian grinned. “Just a few moments ago, come here. I want you to listen to something.” 

Heather marked the page they were on before setting the book down letting Baylee wiggle out of her lap. He ran over to Brian, being picked up and sat in his lap. Heather got up and slipped into the chair on the other side of him. Brian grinned and nodded, the song he had just done flowing through the speakers and into her ears. Her eyes went wide as the song continued but it was different, he had changed it. 

“Bri…” 

“Shh, just listen.” He said. 

Heather nodded and did just that trying to keep the tears at bay. This song was supposed to be for Leighanne. Once the song ended, the producer slipped out to give them some privacy. The door closed and the silence was heavy. Heather hadn’t looked up since the song had ended, Brian now worried he had made a mistake, spoke softly, Baylee watching quietly. 

“Heather?” He reached out for her hand seeing her pull it away. 

“That song wasn’t supposed to be for me.” She whispered. “Why did you change it?” 

Standing up carefully, Brian sat Baylee in his seat. Baylee looked up at his Dad. “Baylee, stay there.” 

Baylee nodded watching his Father kneel down in front of Heather. “Heather, look at me.” 

Heather shook her head, tears falling from her face. Brian reached his hand up and pulled her face up making her look at him. She tried to look away but he wouldn’t let her. 

“After you went back upstairs that day you caught me working on it, the words started to take on a new meaning for me. Heather, you’ve been there for me and Bay since the beginning. You’ve taken so much hate just like Leighanne did. Sweetie, you’re the new grace in my life.” 

“But…” Heather began to protest but was cut short when his lips pressed against hers, kissing her softly. It took Heather only a few moments to pull out of her daze, wrapping her arms around him. Brian stood halfway up, leaning over the chair as they kissed. Finally, Brian pulled away panting softly looking at her. Her face was flush, red on her cheeks. 

“Heather, be my girl.” 

All she could do was nod seeing the wide smile grace Brian’s beautiful face, he pulled her into his arms holding her tight. He could feel her burying herself into him, his hand running through her hair. 

“I’m scared.” Heather whispered. 

“It’ll be okay, I’ll be there for you just like I was for Leighanne.” Brian reassured. 

Once Heather calmed down, she pulled away from him looking at him. He smiled, wiping her tears away. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

The rest of that week was spent recording, Brian making huge progress but he wanted to get home before hopping back on that tour bus. He called Suzanne asking if she could take Bay for the night once they had made it back home, she was happy to spend time with her nephew. Brian let Heather into the house once they had dropped Baylee off, closing the door behind him. He led her up to the Master bedroom shutting the door. 

Heather sighed softly as she curled close to the warm body next to her, the rays of the morning sun slipping through the curtains. She felt his arms wrap around, his face buried into her hair. She knew he was asleep still and relaxed against him. A few hours later, Brian began to stir, stretch, and opened his eyes. He smiled seeing the woman next to him remembering the events of the night before. He leaned down and nuzzled her gently, hearing her groan and bury deeper against his chest making him chuckle softly. 

“Baby, we gotta get up.” Brian whispered. 

“Don’t wanna get up, to comfy.” Heather mumbled. 

Brian laughed and kissed her forehead. “So am I but I gotta pee.” 

Heather giggled and opened her eyes looking into a pair of blue ones. “Hey.” 

“Hey beautiful, be right back.” 

He got up, the sheet falling off his naked form. Heather gave off a playful wolf whistle as he walked towards the bathroom, his eyes rolling playfully. She curled back under the soft comforter hearing the door open. Brian walked back over to the bed, grabbing his boxers along the way, slipping them on, along with his shirt before sliding back into bed next to Heather. She opened her eyes seeing his shirt back on. 

“Bri…” 

He shook his head. “I can’t..” 

She sighed and nodded knowing he was still embarrassed about his scar from his surgery. It had actually surprised her last night when he let her take it off. Brian pulled her into his arms holding her close and sighing in contentment pushing the voices and guilt as far away as he could. Finally the new couple got up and dressed before going downstairs together to cook breakfast. They sat down together eating happily, both smiling softly with just the hint of red on their cheeks. 

“Last night was…” Heather tried but couldn’t get it out. 

“Last night was amazing.” Brian finished. 

“Really?” She asked. 

Brian nodded reaching out his hand laying it over hers. “It was and I know we are going to have to tell the world soon. They pretty much already know with you being with me on tour and the media getting what they have but I want the fans to hear it from me.” 

“I understand, it’s just..” 

“I know, it’s going to be a huge adjustment for you, more so than it was for Leighanne.” 

Heather sighed softly, she now had an entire new set of worries. Brian saw the worry on her face. “Heather what is it?” 

“What if I can’t...What if I can’t live up the standards?” 

“What you mean?” Brian asked, confused. 

“You know me, I’m not one to get all dressed up and be in the spotlight.” 

He squeezed her hand gently. “I know you’re a tomboy, it’s one of the many reasons I love you. Leighanne didn’t always wear dresses to events either. You can alternate depending on the event.” 

“That’s something else.” Heather added. “What if I don’t end up being as good as her.” 

“Heather Marie, you listen to me right now.” Brian said sternly. “I don’t want you to be like Leighanne, I want you to be you. You grew up differently than she did, I would never put that expectation on you, do you understand?” 

Heather nodded softly. “Sorry, I just want to be what you need me to be.” 

“Then be yourself, that’s all I want.” Brian softened his voice. “I still need my best friend just the way she is, I never wanted you to change just because you gained a new title.” 

Heather gave a soft smile, Brian happy to see it before he leaned over and rubbed her cheek gently. “You’re my girl and I love you for who you are.” 

“And I love you for who you are.” 

“I know you do.” 

He kissed her softly before sitting back down, the thick air between them thinning out and lifting much like a morning fog. They finished breakfast and washed up the dishes, Brian kissing on her making her giggle. It was late in the afternoon before Brian went to go get Baylee, the glow evident on his face despite his attempt to hide it. He was ready to start this new journey with Heather, but he knew there was still plenty from the past he needed to face.


	15. Chapter 15

The European leg was long and by the time it was over, Brian and Heather had a very fussy and restless Baylee on their hands, Brian’s frustration getting the best of him. When Baylee was on stage with the guys, he was fine. It was during the show that Heather had issues trying to keep him either occupied with what was going on or trying to get him to play with his toys backstage. Brian had decided it would be best if Heather and Baylee stayed home for the rest of the tour even though the Asian and Australian legs were short, Brian promising Heather he would get her to Australia at some point knowing how much she had always wanted to visit. 

For now, they were in the middle of their two month break, Brian working hard on his album while the opportunity was there. They had also made a trip up to Kentucky so Brian and Heather’s families could see them and Baylee. Jackie and Harold had taken their grandson for a few days so Brian and Heather could have some alone time. It had been a great visit and they didn’t want to head back to Tennessee but Brian had one last track to lay down and he wanted Baylee on it with him. 

It had taken about three tries to get Baylee to say what Brian wanted him to, but they finally got a good take of the little boy. Once Baylee’s lines had been said, he was taken back to Heather while Brian finished the song. He grabbed the book she had been reading him and crawled into her lap laying against her listening. In the middle of her reading Brian opened the door and smiled seeing Heather reading to his son. He slipped over to where the producer was tying up a few loose ends before getting up and walking over to the two. The kiss on the head got Heather's attention as she finished where she was and closed the book, Baylee already having his arms out, reaching for Brian. He picked his son up and held him close, Heather standing up. 

“Ready to go home?” Brian asked. 

“Yes!” Baylee squealed happily, throwing his hands in the air. 

Heather smiled as she was pulled into Brian’s other arm, kissing her forehead. “Ready baby?” 

“Yeah.” The trio headed out, their flight leaving later that night, they were ready to be home. Heather was so proud of Brian for not giving up on his dream and seeing it through. 

Baylee’s birthday and Christmas went smoother than previous ones, Shirley kept her mouth quiet but it was clear on her face she didn’t like that Heather was now officially in Brian and Baylee’s lives, Brian had made an official statement about them as a couple not long after they had gotten home. Baylee had made off like a little bandit and Heather couldn’t wait to take him down to the large pond behind the house and teach him how to fish with his new pole. 

Baylee ran down to the edge of the pond, Brian close behind him, picking him as the little boy giggled happily while Heather walked down with the poles and tackle box. It was a chillier than normal January morning but with Brian getting ready to head back out, he wanted to watch Baylee fish for the first time. 

“Ready Bubs?” Brian asked, grinning. 

“Yeah! Yeah!” Baylee jumped up and down happily as Heather opened the plastic lid to the worms and baited his hook, Brian taking him down to the edge and helping him throw his line out for the first time. Heather took a few pictures before baiting hers and Brian's pole wiping the dirt on her jeans like she always had and got up heading down to where her boys were.

"Fishie bite!" Baylee commanded. 

Heather and Brian chuckled at Baylee's cute impatience as they settled on the ground throwing their own lines in. Brian could see the instant relaxation in Heather's face and body he knew she was at home and it showed. It didn’t take long for Baylee’s attention span to divert into another direction, the little boy setting his pole down and running off to play in the little sand area with his bucket and shovel. Brian chuckled and handed Heather his pole so he could get up and reel Baylee’s in, the worm had long since been nibbled off. He sat back down and took his pole back over. The pair sat there quietly together, ears alert listening to Baylee as they focused on their line. 

“This was a really good idea.” Brian spoke softly. 

“Yeah it was.” Heather nodded in agreement.

As the day went on, Heather and Brian caught and threw back each fish they had snagged, calling for Baylee each time. The little boy would run over, rub his little fingers down the slippery scales of the fish, pull his hand back, and run off again until the next catch. As the sun dipped down into the horizon, Brian had pulled his line in and was now working on the firepit he had set up earlier that day, grabbing the hotdogs out of the cooler. He looked up and smiled seeing Heather and Baylee together, the voices and picture of what he wanted to see were still there, but the real picture that had been blurry the last two years was starting to come into focus. Baylee’s happy squeal pulled Brian out of his thoughts, the little boy jumping around in place as a little fish hung there at the end of his line. 

“DADDY LOOK!” Baylee cried out. 

“I SEE IT BUBS!” Brian called back. He grabbed the camera and walked down to the edge taking a couple of pictures as Baylee giggled happily. 

“Time to let him go back home.” Heather said. 

“Okay Mommy.” Baylee nodded. 

Brian watched as Heather had his son help her get the hook out of the fish’s mouth and walked down to the water together. He heard the boy tell the fish bye bye before releasing it back into the water, little giggles floating into Brian’s ears as he was splashed by the fish’s tail as it swam off. The poles and tackle box were put back into the golf cart before the three sat down around the roaring fire Brian had going. He had helped Baylee slip the hotdog on the metal stick roasting it over the fire. They ate and chatted happily together, roasting marshmallows as well, Heather getting an Ewww from both boys as she stuck hers right into the fire to let it burn. 

Time had lost all meaning and before they knew it, the sun had gone to bed, allowing the moon and stars to take over the night shift. Baylee had fallen asleep on the blanket while Heather and Brian cuddled close, the fire still going strong, his fingers running through her hair. 

“I couldn’t have asked for a better send off.” Brian whispered, hearing Heather sigh softly. 

“It went too fast.” Heather replied, a bit of sadness in her voice. 

“It always does, but it’s a short leg then a small break. I’ll be back before you know it.” Brian reminded. 

“I know, at least you get to be home for your birthday this year.” 

Brian grinned and nodded. “Yeah, that’ll be a nice change.” 

The two went silent for a while before Heather spoke again. “Remember the first time we went fishing together?” 

Brian let out a soft chuckle. “How could I not? It was cold as Hell but I was insistent.” 

“That’s not all you were, you were all huffy when you found out Mom and I were coming along.” 

Brian’s face turned a bit red as the memory of him begging his Dad not to let them tag along, he had wanted this to be something for just him and his Father. 

“Looking back I realized how much of a baby I must have sounded, I was fifteen for God’s Sake!” 

Heather giggled softly. “You were shocked as hell when we got there and you saw the rest of your family.” 

Brian laughed and nodded. “Yeah, y'all a bunch of sneaky asses.” 

The entire fishing trip had been a set up the whole family was in on, it was also the first time Brian had truly shown his jealousy towards his cousin and Heather’s closeness, something Brian was just now realizing. He had been surprised at how comfortable Heather was with baiting her own hook and taking the fish off herself, it was so unheard of for a female to not be grossed out by things like that, but it was one of the many things Brian had grown to love about her, she wasn’t like every other female. The family wasn’t out long, it was way too cold and Brian never asked to go fishing again in the middle of the winter. 

“You know, when you left I was devastated.” Heather broke the silence that had surrounded them, both deep in their own thoughts. 

Brian’s grip around her tightened. “I know and I hated how I left. After Kev called and I auditioned over the phone, they basically said I was in and I needed to get to Florida as soon as possible. I didn’t want to leave like that.” 

“I really never thought I’d see or hear from you again.” 

He buried his face into her hair taking in the scent of the shampoo she used. “I know, it was nothing but go go go, we can’t stop. I had no clue what I had gotten myself into and honestly I was scared shitless.” 

Heather had curled up closer to him, his grip never loosening. “When you did get to come home, it was never for long.” 

“No and I hated it. I hated all the Holidays I missed, hated not seeing my family or any of my friends. My entire world had been turned upside down.” 

“Then finding out you had to have surgery…” Heather shook her head, tears threatening to fall. 

Brain kissed her head, softly rocking her. “Shhh...hey I made it, I’m here.” 

“I know and I’m so thankful.” 

After a few moments, Heather let out a soft giggle causing Brian to look at her. 

“What?” He asked. 

“Just thinking back to when you guys did finally break ground here and how all the girls went crazy. I kinda went on this ego boost of the fact that I knew two fifths of the Backstreet Boys.” 

Brian shook his head, a large grin plastered on his face. “I’m sure you were enjoying that.” 

“Oh I was!” Heather nodded sitting up. “All these girls fawning over you five and here I was grinning like an idiot saying to myself that I knew both cousins before y'all even knew their names.” 

“You’re horrible!” Brian teased pulling her back to him. 

“You love me.” 

“Yes, I do.”


	16. Chapter 16

That break turned out to be four short days to get to Australia and settled before the first show on Nick’s birthday. Brian lugged his suitcases into the hotel suite putting them to the side and sighed. He missed home, he missed Heather and Baylee. Like with Leighanne, he worked hard to stay in contact with them and called when he could, time zones were a bitch. Heather had done her part as well, sending him photos and videos at least twice, sometimes three times each day and he looked forward to that buzzing of his phone. 

As if on cue, his phone began to go off as he pulled it out of his back pocket grinning softly. He knew it was late there and Heather had likely gone on to bed after sending the video. Clicking it, he sat on the plush couch watching. 

“Hey baby, hope you are enjoying yourself and we can’t wait to welcome you home.” Heather’s voice flowed through the speakers, his smiling never leaving. 

“Hi Daddy! I miss you!” Baylee chimed in, giggling before running off. 

As Brian watched, he saw the pond in the background realizing they were getting ready to jump in. He knew Heather had been working with Baylee and his swimming in both the pool and pond. The happy giggle from his son made him beam as Heather picked him up, making him shift softly seeing Heather in her one piece suit. He loved how modest she was about her body and didn’t like showing off. He had always struggled with that aspect with Leighanne but would have never said anything to her. He wasn’t ashamed of how she had looked but he hated how often she showed off as if she was looking for attention. 

“Tell Daddy what we are going to do before bed.” 

“We’re going swimming!” 

Brian chuckled and shook his head, Baylee had turned into such a water baby, much like Nick was. He listened as Heather and Baylee told him goodnight and the video went dark. He sat his phone down and rubbed his face, he was missing so much but he also knew why he was doing it. To provide for his family and it’s all he had known since he was eighteen. Sighing, Shirley’s words swarmed his head once again. What would he do if this suddenly came to an end? 

Shaking his head, he refused to believe the end was anywhere near for them, sure other groups had come and gone, but they were still holding on, still had a strong fanbase even if the rest of the world had pretty much written them off. His phone went off again making him turn his head seeing Kevin’s name on the screen. He picked it up and answered it. 

“What’s up cuz?” Brian answered. 

“We are heading out for some food, hungry?” 

Brian’s stomach answered his cousin’s question. “Yes, very. Give me a min to change.” 

“We’ll meet ya in the lobby.” Kevin replied. 

The cousins hung up and Brian got ready to go, heading out and down the hall. The others were gathered together with their guards when Brian walked out of the elevator with his. They all headed out to enjoy the food and sites.

The last four shows went amazingly but something wasn’t right, Kevin had been off these last two legs but the older man refused to talk about it, claiming he was simply tired. Brian knew he was lying but let it go, too damn tired to argue with him. Brian relaxed as he settled in his seat. He had a long flight ahead of him but he knew his loves would be waiting for him. He also knew he had plenty of time to focus on completing his album now that the tour was over and there was nothing on the BSB plate for now. It had been a wonderful homecoming, Brian being engulfed with arms he loved so much, kissing Heather straight on the lips and Baylee on the head. The small family settled down and enjoyed the next few weeks together away from the world. 

Brian’s birthday had been amazing, he had spent the day with Heather and his son before taking Baylee to his grandparents so he could have the evening with his love. They had gone out for dinner but he could tell Heather was uncomfortable in the high society setting, she tried so hard to at least make it through dinner. They finished dinner and headed back to the house, Brian telling her to get into something more comfortable. Heather went to protest but he kissed her silent. They went in and she took off the dress putting on her pj bottoms and t-shirt feeling much more comfortable while Brian gathered a few things of his own. The rest of the night was spent out by the pond in the bed of Brian’s truck cuddled together watching the stars and talking about the future. He felt Heather’s body completely relaxed against him as he lowered his arm wrapping it around her. It had been one of his favorite birthdays. 

Heather watched people come and go around her as she held Baylee close, the little boy laying against her trying to hide the best he could. There were so many people in the house and it was a bit overwhelming for the little boy. Brian was doing a photo shoot for his book that would be included along with his CD, it was so close to being finalized. He had already chosen the first single and would be looking for a director for the video soon. Heather waited for Brian to come down to the kitchen, he wanted a photo to feature her and Baylee. He already had one with Baylee. Finally, she saw him come down dressed in his normal clothes smiling softly as he walked over to them, kissing her on the head. 

“Ready to do this?” Brian asked. 

Heather bit her lip. “I don’t know, the fans have really…” 

Brian shook his head. “Fans giving you shi...trouble are the same fans who would do the same thing no matter who I was with.” 

Heather sighed softly and nodded. She knew that but with Social Media on the rise, fans had been even more vocal about their displeasure, it even seemed those who supported Leighanne hated Heather. The younger woman did have her supporters, but it was an even smaller group than Leighanne had. 

“Everything okay here?” The photographer asked. 

Brian smiled and nodded. “Yeah, we’re ready to go.” 

Getting into place, Brian told Baylee to come here, the little boy reaching out for his Father, Brian grinning as Heather looked at him with a smile on her face and love in her eyes for her best friend. The photographer did a couple of shots so Brian would have a few to choose from. Finally the shoot was over and everyone had piled out leaving the trio behind. Heather ordered pizza while Brian gave Baylee his bath and the family settled down for the night. 

Over the next few months, Brian busied himself getting ready to release his album, doing the music video for Welcome Home which included Heather and Baylee towards the end of the video. Welcome Home was released and Brian was on cloud nine. Heather got her first taste of what it meant to date a celebrity and as proud of Brian she was, she knew she was way out of her league. Brian comforted and reassured her things would get better and the hate would settle, not realizing what was on the horizon.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a very special one and I wanna thank krazikrys for allowing me to use her memory of the night Brian stopped in the middle of Don't Take The Girl and bring it to paper. (I did have to change a few things to fit the story but the majority of what happened that night stayed intact.) 

Brian sat there stunned, not believing what he had just heard. He knew something had been off with his cousin those last two legs of the tour but he never expected something like this. It was June and he had been riding high the last month, Welcome Home had done amazingly in the Christian World, his songs actually getting airplay. Now, that high had just come crashing down with Kevin’s words. When the meeting had been called, this had been the last thing Brian had expected and had assumed it was to talk about what to do next, now that question truly was on the table. What would be next? Was this the end? Once the shock had worn off, the four finally found their voices and as the meeting went on, Kevin had given his blessings for the four to continue on and in turn they told him the door would always be open to him, that he would not be replaced. 

That had been two days ago and with the official statement posted on their site, the remaining members walked awkwardly into the recording studio looking around and at each other. There was so much uncertainty swimming around them. Who were they? Could they really do this without their oldest brother? So many questions without answers. They were embarking on a new adventure with one man down and it didn’t feel right. 

AJ shook his head. “I can’t…” They watched him walk out, Brian wanting to go after him feeling Howie’s hand on his shoulder. 

“Don’t, let him have some time.” Howie said softly. 

Brian sighed but nodded, Nick watching quietly. He was struggling just as much as AJ was over this entire situation but it was hitting AJ the hardest of the four. They knew Kevin would always be there for them, that he was just a phone call away but that didn’t help their current predicament. About ten minutes passed before they heard the door open back up and their band mate walked in, they could tell he had been crying but didn’t draw attention to it and instead walked over to the tattooed man wrapping their arms around him and each other. 

“Sorry guys.” AJ whispered. 

“Don’t be, this is hard on all of us.” Howie replied, keeping his best friend close to him. 

After a few moments, the attitude changed as they pulled away looking at each other. It was up to them now to keep the Backstreet name going and not give up, not let Kevin or the fans down. With a new sense of determination, AJ looked at his three remaining brothers. 

“Let’s do this, let’s make Kev proud.” The other three grinned and nodded, it still didn’t feel right, but they refused to let this be the end. They had gone through much worse and still had come out on the other side intact and they would weather this storm together just like they had with everything else. They buckled down and started the process of working on their next album. 

Between his and the new album, Brian was able to stay busy but still made sure to make time for Heather and Baylee, enjoying the time he had with them despite being back and forth. He did what he could for his album promotion wise knowing the group had to stay first, he did live events when he could and did a very small tour for it. They were also being bombarded with offers to replace Kevin and do a reality show, they held strong and turned down each offer, they were not going to replace their oldest brother. 

Heather walked into his office seeing the stress on his face. She walked over to him Brian looking up seeing her. He pushed his chair back, pulling her into his arms holding her close. 

“I love you.” He said softly against her hair as he buried his face into the softness. 

Heather smiled and relaxed against him. “I love you too, how’s things going?” 

Brian sighed. “Good, still doesn’t feel right but we are getting there. Howie has really stepped up and honestly I kinda feel bad we’ve always put him in the back, he truly has an amazing voice.” 

Heather nodded in agreement. “He does and maybe Kevin leaving was in a way a blessing in disguise.” 

“It still hurts.” 

“I know it does.” 

Brian held her close before hearing the door open and Baylee walking in after pushing the door open a bit harder than he should have. Heather and Brian got up heading over to the little boy who was growing faster than either wanted. 

“It’s game time!” Baylee announced. 

“I swear he has an internal clock.” Heather shook her head, grinning. 

Brian nodded in agreement as they headed out and to the basement, Brian holding his son’s hand as they made their way down the steps. They set up the night’s game and played happily together before supper. 

Brian sighed as he rubbed his forehead, the album was coming along but it was completely different from what they had done before, not that it bothered him, he was very open minded in trying a different style and direction. They were still at a loss and were trying to figure out who they were now that there were only four. He felt someone sit in the chair next to him making him look over seeing Nick next to him. Their relationship was strong once again and Brian could not have been happier. Nick saw the worry in his best friend’s eyes and reached out rubbing his shoulder. 

“Frick, what is it?” Nick asked. 

Brian smiled hearing the old name, they had just brought the names back and Brian loved hearing them again. 

“I’m just worried, Frack.” Brian replied. “This is so different from what we’re known for.” 

Nick nodded in agreement. “I know it is but we’ve experimented before and it’s worked out for us.” 

Brian smiled and nodded knowing the younger man was right. “You’re right.” 

AJ and Howie sat down in the chairs next to the two best friends, the four looking at each other. They had about ten songs down and wanted to get at least fifteen so they would have a good selection to choose from. Brian had been flying from one place to another and was missing Heather and Baylee but knew it was part of the job. 

“So, how many songs do you think we can get in today?” Howie asked. 

“I think we could get at least two to three” AJ spoke, “we are here pretty early.” 

“We could even maybe get a few more then that.” Brian added. 

“I say we just go and see what happens.” Nick threw out there. 

“Well, we don’t wanna wear ourselves out.” 

Nick rolled his eyes and leaned back against his chair, he was so sick of being treated like he was still a kid. Finally, they got up and headed into the recording booth and ended up doing exactly what Nick had suggested and was able to lay down five more solid songs before heading back to the hotel they were staying in. As they were headed out, Brian remembered his commitment he had made in August and needed to tell the others. 

“Oh guys! Before I forget again, I did agree to do a few events for my album in August.” Brian said. 

The other four turned and looked at the now second oldest before AJ spoke. “That’s cool Rok, that still gives us plenty of time, we’ve got a good lead on things.”  
Brian looked at the other two seeing the nod of approval from Howie. “I’m really proud of you Brian.” 

Brian smiled and relaxed his body. “Thanks Howie, that means a lot to me.” 

He knew this was still a sore subject for Nick considering their own reaction to him going solo. They were still stepping on eggshells around each other on this topic and more than likely would for awhile much like how Brian was hanging onto his hurt over them not being there for him still. 

“Nick?” Brian asked cautiously. 

“Yeah, that’s cool.” Nick spoke, but the annoyance was there. "Just don't forget what comes first."

"Nick…" Howie tried seeing Brian shake his head.

"It's fine Howie, it's not like a full fledged tour and I'm very well aware of what comes first."

Brian walked past Nick and headed into the hotel. 

"Nick you gotta stop." Howie said.

The blonde shrugged and pushed past the other two. AJ and Howie shook their heads and went in as well.

The small events around Cali and surrounding areas was such a change of pace and Brian was relishing in the smaller venues and tone. It was such a small thing Heather had agreed to come out with him. 

Brian had made a small set list to include some BSB classics along with songs from his album and shocking to many Don't Take The Girl. Brian had being doing well telling the story about Leighanne and why the song meant so much to him but tonight something was off and Heather wasn't sure what was going on. They were in Palmdale and things were going well until he got to the segment before he sang Don't Take The Girl and Heather noticed a change in his body language. He was sitting in a simple folding chair as he told his story and the song began. 

As the song moved closer to the end Heather watched Brian begin to shake. Something was hitting him harder then previous nights as if his mind was truly accepting the reality that Leighanne was gone. Brian then did something neither Heather or the fans had ever seen him do, he stopped in the middle of the song. The music was still going but he wasn't singing. After a few seconds Brian recomposed himself and continued on through the rest of the song. Once the lights had gone down to just the spotlight he looked to his left and finally the blurry picture that had been in his mind was finally clear as day allowing him to see what was standing there in front of him. 

"Hold on y'all." Brian said as he got up and walked over to the side of the stage reaching for Baylee. The little boy stepped into the spotlight and the crowd went crazy. 

Brian was handed a mic for his son letting the boy grab it as they began to talk to the audience and each other. Heather smiled watching Father and son interact with each other and even though she couldn't understand what they were saying but the roar of the crowd was enough to know it was cute and funny. After a few minutes Brian led Baylee back to the stage, the little boy tripping causing Brian to run over to him. Baylee looked up at his Father and grinned not even phased as he stood himself up and made his way back into Heather's arms.

Brian flopped onto the bed of their hotel room and sighed softly, he was still beating himself up for stopping in the middle of a song. He had never done that before and was determined to make sure it never happened again. He turned his head watching Heather get Baylee settled down in the bed next to them making sure he was in the middle but still laid a few pillows around the boy just in case knowing how much he liked to roll around. Once Baylee was settled down she turned and slipped into the bed going right into Brian’s arms, feeling him wrap her up and pull her close. 

“What happened tonight?” She whispered softly.

“Honestly I don’t know.” He replied. “I’ve done that song multiple times and never broke like that.” 

She could see the guilt in his blue eyes for stopping and shook her head. “Stop it.” 

“Stop what?” 

“Beating yourself up over it. Things like that happen, it’s an emotional song and for you it’s got an even more emotional story behind it. Honestly I’m surprised you didn’t break sooner.” 

Brian looked at the woman next to him slightly shocked. “I don’t usually break that easily.” 

“I know, stubborn ass.” Heather huffed playfully.

Brian chuckled and pulled her closer to him, kissing her softly on the lips before pulling away and looking into her brown eyes. “This stubbornness has gotten me to where I am now.” 

“I know it has.” Heather replied snuggling close to him and falling asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Dysphonia, a word Brian wasn’t expecting to hear when he had gone to the doctor for what he thought was a simple sore throat. A lot had happened over the last few years, recording, touring, a couple of health scares with both Brian and Baylee, making history by doing an iconic tour with another group of legends. It was at the midway mark of that tour that Brian had noticed his voice starting to go horse and the others voiced their concerns, but Brian waved it off as a sore throat and that he would be fine. When it didn’t get better, he knew he needed to go to the doctor, now he wished he had gone much sooner. 

“Wh..what?” Brian stuttered, coughing trying to clear his throat. 

Dr. Johnson sighed looking at the man in front of him, he knew what Brian did and how serious this was. 

“It’s called Dysphonia.” Johnson repeated. “It’s a condition where your muscles around your vocal cord tighten causing the hoarseness. It happens under immense stress and considering what you do, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner.” 

Brian shook his head, he could already feel his throat tightening around him like a vice. His breathing became heavy and hard. What the hell was he going to do? His brain went into overdrive. What were the guys going to think? Would they react the same way they did when he went to them about his heart? Then Shirley’s biting words came back to him. 

“Brian, you got to calm down.” Johnson tried seeing the younger man coming close to a panic attack. 

Hearing the older man, Brian closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing. He knew he needed to calm down and relax before he overworked his heart. After about five minutes, Brian finally began to calm, his breathing was still heavy but not as hard. He opened his eyes and looked at the dark haired man before him. 

“Wh...oh God…” Brian choked out, his voice and throat hurt as tears threatened to fall. He looked up at the doctor and tried again but his voice was completely gone. 

“Even though this was caught almost too late, voice therapy may still be an option.” He explained. “I can give you a few numbers if you would like.”

Brian quickly nodded watching the other man get up and look a few things up before handing him a piece of paper. 

“Take things easy for the next couple of days and try to relax as much as you can.” 

Brian nodded, taking the piece of paper and getting up, he went to say thank you when he saw Johnson hold his hand up.  
“You’re welcome.” He smiled. 

Brian grabbed the paper and headed out, finally letting the tears fall not knowing where to go from here. Driving home was agonizing as he let the tears stream from his eyes trying to focus on the road. He had no idea what he was going to do or how he was going to be able to go on with the group, this had come at the worst of time, Kevin was finally back after seven long years and now this happened. Pulling into the drive, he stopped and shut the truck off before slamming his hands against the steering wheel, his face was hard, bottom lip pulled inward. He knew he needed to calm down before going inside. Taking a deep breath, he took his belt off and opened the door, closing and locking the truck before heading inside. 

Stepping into the large house, Brian headed straight for the staircase, wanting nothing more than to lock himself away in the bedroom and the darkness. He was about halfway up the stairs when he heard Heather’s voice float into his ears making him groan inward and close his eyes. She had finally given in and moved into the house with him, putting her own small touches over the last couple of years but Leighanne’s vision and memory was still very present. 

“Honey, you home?” Heather asked, coming into the living room seeing him on the stairs. She could tell something was wrong and instantly began to worry. “Baby, what’s wrong? How did things go?” 

He gripped the railing before relaxing his hand and looked down at the woman who had been by his side for the last nine years, had helped him raise his son, and kept him grounded so he wouldn’t do anything he would regret to Baylee. Turning, he headed back down the stairs and over to her, his blue eyes were dark mixed with anger, worry, and fear. 

“Brian, talk to me.” Heather pleaded, reaching up to rub his cheek gently. 

He closed his eyes and leaned into her hand feeling his body relax for the first time since he had been told the horrid news. Finally, he opened his eyes looking into her brown ones before turning his head and pointing to the notebook that was on the table nearby. Heather nodded and went to get the book along with the pen that was next to it. She opened it and handed it to Brian, watching him begin to write something. He turned the book letting her read what he had written. 

“I’ve lost my voice.” 

Heather’s eyes went wide looking at him. “What? It’s going to come back, right?” 

Brian sighed and began to write again turning it back around. “I don’t know, I have a couple of numbers to call once I can speak again to start voice therapy.” 

“Voic...Voice therapy?” 

Brian nodded but before he could write anything else, Baylee came into the room with his head down looking at his homework. 

“Hey Mom could you...” He stopped seeing the two and smiled moving over to his Dad, hugging him before pulling away not seeing the sadness in Brian’s eyes. 

“Hey Dad! You’re home!” Baylee grinned, looking up at his Father. 

Brian nodded letting him go, Baylee instantly realizing something was wrong. “Dad, what’s wrong?” 

Brian looked at Heather, his eyes pleading for her to help him. Heather sighed looking back. “Bri, you can’t hide it from him.” 

“Hide what?” Baylee asked, looking between them. 

Taking the notebook he let Baylee read the first thing Brian had written watching his son shake his head, eyes wide. 

“NO! You can’t lose your voice!” Baylee shouted.

“Baylee…” Heather reached out but the boy pulled away, tears falling. 

Brian tried to reach out but Baylee turned and ran up the stairs slamming the door. The tears once again pricked the corners of Brian’s eyes as Heather wrapped her arms around him, her fingers running through his short hair. He buried himself against her letting the tears fall onto her shirt. 

“Shhh, it’ll be okay.” Heather reassured. 

The sadness and tension in the house was thick and covered every room like a clouded fog. Brian had fallen asleep not long after Baylee’s outburst, the boy hadn’t come out of his room and Heather was beginning to worry. Standing at his door, she took a breath and knocked. 

“Baylee?” 

“Go away.” Baylee answered. 

Heather sighed. “Bubs, I know this is hard and a shock, but we’ve gone through worse and came out together.” 

She didn’t hear anything but smiled seeing the door handle turn and open with a tear stained Baylee on the other side. Her heart broke seeing him just as broken as Brian was. Over the years, they had truly bonded. Baylee had found his love for sports, cooking, and wanting to learn how to play the guitar. He had also expressed his want to follow in Brian’s footsteps as a solo artist. Brian had beamed with pride when Baylee told him and they had enrolled him in vocal lessons.

“Can I come in?” Heather asked. 

With a soft nod, Baylee turned and went back to his bed sitting down, Heather walking in and sitting next to him. They stayed silent for the longest time before Baylee spoke. 

“This isn’t fair!” Baylee cried. 

Heather sighed softly and nodded, her hand running through his curls gently. “I know Bubs, but being upset isn’t going to help him get better.” 

“I know but...How did he lose it?” Baylee asked. “He just went in for a sore throat.” 

Heather shook her head. “I don’t know hun, he didn’t get a chance to tell me.” 

She felt Baylee lean against her, her arms going around him. “What’s going to happen if it doesn’t come back?” 

Heather closed her eyes, not wanting to think about the possibility of never hearing that one of a kind voice he had or him having to leave the group. She didn’t know what to tell the boy in her arms so she did the best she could with her answer. 

“I don’t know Bubs, but all we can do is take one day at a time and stay positive.” 

Baylee nodded and hugged her tight. “I love you Mom.” 

She hugged him back, she knew Brian’s voice issue wasn’t the only thing he was going to face, with Baylee getting older, he needed to tell his son about Leighanne. “I love you too Bubs.” 

They pulled away smiling at each other before Heather motioned towards the door. “How bout some Nintendo before bed.” Baylee grinned and nodded, getting up and racing out of the room and to the basement, Heather chuckling softly as she got up and followed him. 

The next couple of days were rough, Brian rarely spoke trying to let his voice relax as much as he could. The small family had found a way to communicate with each other, Brian keeping the notebook and pen with him. He was still active with Baylee’s schooling and other activities but when he needed a moment or two alone, Heather and Baylee let him go. 

Heather had also stepped up and became Brian’s voice, as much as she hated talking on the phone, she sucked it up and made the calls Brian needed her to. He had his first appointment with the voice therapist next week. All they could do now was pray therapy would work at least enough to the point where he would still be able to sing.


	19. Chapter 19

Brian smiled as he watched the scene before him, it was game night but he wasn’t in the mood to play. Ever since Baylee was two, they had put Thursday nights aside to play games. Even when Brian was out, they would play so when he was home, those Thursday nights became even more special. Tonight though he was enjoying watching Heather and Baylee in a serious card game her family had played for years, he smiled watching the two fight to get their cards to the middle of the table, memories of the first time he played with Heather and her Mom came to mind. Baylee was getting better though with each game, getting his cards down before her, making her take her card back. It was a fast paced game,Solitaire for two people as Heather had explained it to him the first time. 

“And that’s game!” Heather announced. 

Baylee grumbled and grabbed his deck box putting his cards away. “I will beat you, how did you get so fast?” 

Heather chuckled. “Practice young grasshopper.” 

Baylee shook his head and helped her put everything away before walking over to his Dad. Brian smiled and opened his arms, Baylee slipped down into his Father’s arms holding him close. Baylee laid his head on Brian’s chest, he had become clingy since Brian had come home with his diagnosis. Brian didn’t mind, he knew this was hard on his son just as much as it was on him. 

“Goo...Good job Bubs.” Brian whispered. 

Baylee sighed hearing the struggle. “Thanks Dad.” 

Heather sat down next to them, Brian smiling over his son’s head seeing her next to him. She reached over and rubbed the boy’s back gently. “It’ll be okay Bubs.” 

“She’s right.” Brian cleared his throat. “I’ve gone through…* Brian took a moment before continuing. “So much worse.” 

The sessions had been going well but it was still too early to tell if the damage would be permanent or if his voice could be saved. He also started drinking hot tea with honey to help with the soreness. After a bit Brian could feel his son’s body begin to get heavy, he looked up at the clock and realized it was late. 

“Bedtime Bubs.” Brian nuzzled into his son’s curls. 

Baylee groaned and curled closer to him, Brian smiled and wrapped his arms around the boy, picking him up and carrying him upstairs, Heather following behind. Brian got Baylee laid down and covered up, Baylee snuggling down. 

“Love you Dad.” Baylee said half asleep. 

“I love you too Bubs.” Brian replied, his voice coming back just long enough. 

Brian turned and headed out, going down the stairs into the living room where Heather was sitting on the couch. He smiled and slid down onto the couch next to her, pulling her into his arms. 

“Do you want your notebook?” She asked. 

“Ye..yes.” Brian choked out, he knew he needed to let his voice rest again the next few days after doing his in-home exercises. She sat up and leaned over grabbing the book and his pen off the table, laying back down against his chest handing it to him. She situated herself so he could write and she could see. 

“I hate this.” It read. 

“I know baby, but it’s all you can do right now.” 

She watched as he replied to her grinning softly. “It doesn’t mean I have to like it.” 

They laid there talking back and forth as the time slipped by, but Brian could feel the tension in his girl’s body and knew something was wrong. He started to write once again. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” She quickly replied. “I am getting a bit sleepy.” 

With her back to him, she couldn't see his expression so he made an angry face on the paper and Heather knew he knew she was lying. Taking a deep breath and letting it out she watched as he put a question mark next to the angry face. She was hoping to avoid this issue knowing it was going to cause a shit storm. 

“Baylee’s asking questions.” Heather finally replied. 

“What kind of questions?” Brian wrote. 

“I think you know what kind, he’s catching on to the fact that he looks nothing like me or you. He even asked me if he was adopted.” 

She felt his body tense as he began to quickly write. “What did you tell him?” 

“I told him he wasn’t adopted, that’s something I would not lie to him about but you need to talk to him, you need to tell him.” 

“No.” The words appeared making her turn to look him in the eyes. She could see the anger on his face. 

“You can’t keep hiding it, he’s older now and deserves to know the truth.” 

She watched as Brian’s breathing became hard and heavy. He shook his head and pointed to the word again. 

“Would you rather he hear it from Shirley?” Heather asked. “Because you know she will make it ten times worse.” 

Brian relaxed his body as her words swam in his ears, remembering back to when Shirley had said she would do just that if Baylee ever came to her asking. He sighed and grabbed the book again and wrote letting her read it. 

“I’ll tell him, but this doesn’t change anything. You are his Mother.” 

Heather shook her head. “Let’s leave that up to him.” 

He sat the book and pen down, getting up and pulling her into his arms, lifting her head up with his fingers gently before leaning down and kissing her softly, happy to feel her respond. He ran his hands through her hair and down her back feeling her shake. They pulled away looking into each other’s eyes, they hadn’t done anything since Brian had come home from the doctor’s office but the need and want was there. 

“Are you sure?” Heather asked. Brian nodded and took her hand leading her up to their room, closing the door behind him. 

Baylee bounced the ball against the floor as he turned around and shot seeing it miss, he sighed and went to retrieve the ball, going back to the same spot and trying again. Brian opened the door and smiled watching his son throw the ball and miss, hearing the frustrating growl he always let out. Once retrieved, Baylee turned and bounced the ball smiling seeing his Dad standing there watching. 

He threw the ball to the older man, Brian catching it with ease as they began a full court game. They ran back and forth Brian easily dodging his son, but Baylee had learned how his Father played and rarely changed so he had stolen the ball and blocked him a few more times then normal, Brian couldn’t help the sense of pride wash over him. After about an hour, they slowed down and were just shooting and dribbling around, the air around them had thickened slightly as Brian threw the ball Baylee catching and throwing watching it go in. Brian ran over to grab the rolling ball. He had just gotten his voice somewhat back and knew this conversation would cause him to lose it again but it was time to face this part, he just didn’t know what the outcome was going to be. 

Baylee could tell his Father was struggling with himself and walked over to him. “Dad, what is it? Is your voice gone again?” 

“No, but I need to talk to you while I still kinda have it.” Brian softly replied. 

Baylee nodded and the duo headed towards the table and chairs sitting down. Baylee sat there waiting for his Dad to speak, Brian finally finding his voice. 

“Heather said you’ve been asking some questions.” Brian began. 

Baylee shifted slightly in his seat. “I didn’t mean anything bad by them.” 

The older man shook his head. “No Bubs, you’re not in trouble. It’s okay for you ask questions.” 

“It’s just...I don’t look like you or Mom.” 

Brian sighed softly. “Bubs, I’m going to tell you something but please understand I never said anything until now because I wanted to wait until you were old enough to understand.” 

Baylee nodded and scooted closer to the edge of his chair, his blue eyes wide with curiosity. 

“Bubs, you don’t look like either of us, because….” Brian closed his eyes, he could already feel the stress filling him and his muscles tightening. He tried to clear his throat and relax his body. “Baylee, Heather’s not your Mother.” 

The horror on his son’s face would be something he would never forget, his blue eyes filled with hate and anger. Brian tried to reach out for his boy but saw him pull away before quickly getting up, the tears began to fall. 

“You’re lying!” Baylee screamed. “She is my Mom!” 

“Baylee, please.” Brian pleaded. 

Backing away Baylee turned and ran for the door opening and disappearing leaving Brian behind with his own tears. He growled and slammed his fist against the wooden surface of the table before getting up and heading out. He opened the door and jumped slightly seeing Heather at the door. 

“Hey.” She said softly. 

“I shou….fuck…” Brian groaned. 

Heather quickly ran to get his book and pen handing it to him. He grabbed it out of her hand a bit rougher than he should have hastily writing. 

“We should have waited, he’s still too young.” It said. “This is your fault.” 

Her eyes went wide. “How is it my fault?” 

“You’re the one who kept pushing to tell him.” 

“Only because I was tired of making up excuses!” 

“Yes because we wouldn’t want you to be inconvenienced.” 

Tears began to fall from Heather’s eyes. “Fuck you Brian!” 

Quickly turning she headed out the door, slamming it making him jump. He threw the book and pen onto the ground and stormed off towards the basement. Heather didn’t come home for hours and Brian began to worry, once he had calmed down he realized he had overacted. He didn't want her to lie to Baylee, he didn’t want to lie to Baylee. He had tried to get his son to open the door to let him in but he didn’t get an answer, he had opened the door to make sure the boy was okay, discovering he had fallen asleep. Now, Brian sat in the living room, hands intertwined together as he prayed she was okay. He laid back against the couch trying to stay awake but the emotions of the day finally caught up to him, causing him to close his blue eyes and fall asleep. 

Heather walked back into the house a few hours later, she hadn’t meant to be out so long but she needed time to think and clear her head, try to figure things out and began to wonder if this was all worth it. As she quietly took her shoes off and walked through the living room, she came across the sleeping man on the couch, giving her her answer. He was worth it and so was the little boy she had helped raise for the last nine years. Not wanting to wake him, she laid the blanket over him gently before heading up the stairs stopping at Baylee’s door peeking in on the boy who had had his entire world flipped upside down. She closed the door and sighed softly, still feeling guilty for pushing the subject. She went on down the hall to the Master, closing the door behind her and going to bed.


	20. Chapter 20

Baylee sat on the couch with the photo album in his lap trying to find some evidence that his Father's words had been untrue but so far he hadn’t found any. After the incident Baylee had asked to go to his grandparents for a few days and much to Brian's worry he would say something he let his son go that had been about a week ago and Bay was still there. He was still hurt over everything and didn't want to be at home. Shirley watched from the doorway that led into the living room from the kitchen. She had set the book on the table for her grandson to find, having every intention of making good on her promise she made to Brian that day of Baylee’s birthday all those years ago. 

Shirley moved to her grandson and sat down next to him. She looked over noticing the photo Baylee had stopped on and her heart broke. It was one of Brian and Leighanne’s wedding, it had been the happiest day of her baby girl’s life. In the corner of the photo, Heather could be seen and Shirley gave off a soft sigh but before she could let the memories drift her away, Baylee’s soft voice came through. 

“Grandma, who’s that?” Baylee asked, pointing to the blonde woman next to his Father. 

Taking a breath, Shirley looked at the boy. “That’s my daughter, your Mother.” 

The tears freely flowed as Baylee shook his head. “No!” 

Taking the book from him and setting it down, she pulled him into her arms as he cried. She ran her fingers through his blonde curls comforting him the best she could. 

“He..Heather’s my Mom.” Baylee whimpered, looking up at the older woman. “Isn’t she?” 

It would have been so easy, easy to tell Baylee all the horrible things she had convinced herself that Heather was but looking into the blue eyes that mirrored her beautiful daughter’s, she realized it hadn’t been Heather dishonoring Leighanne’s memory, it had been her. From the fight that had almost caused Brian and Leighanne to split up to the wedge she had caused between both families. For the longest time, like so many others, she truly believed men and women could not simply just be friends, that something had to be going on, that Brian had pulled all those strings for Heather because they were seeing each other, using his cousin and band mates as the cover. Brian even now, all these years later, had shown how much Leighanne still meant to him. He had gone through with the decision they had made to home school Baylee, the house looked exactly the same with just a few renovations and the small touches Heather had added when she moved in, but Leighanne was still very much inside the house. 

Finally looking down at the boy in her arms she replied. “She’s not biologically your Mom, but she has been there for you and your Dad since you were born. So in a way, she is.” 

“Really? So it’s okay if I still call her Mom?” 

It hurt but Shirley smiled and nodded. “Yes.” 

The nine-year-old smiled and hugged his Grandmother happily, the tears drying up before pulling away. “What did happen to my Mom?” 

It was right there, on the tip of her tongue but she held back her hand pushing the soft curls off his forehead. “You need to ask your Dad that.” 

After a few moments Baylee sat up and looked at her. “I’m ready to go home.” 

Nodding, Shirley watched him stand and head up the stairs to his room to pack. She turned her head to see Jack standing in the doorway grinning. 

“What?” She asked. 

Without immediately replying, the man walked over to his wife and leaned down to kiss her softly before pulling away. “I’m so proud of you.” 

She smiled softly and nodded. “I better call Brian and let him know.” 

“Good idea.” 

She got up and headed back into the kitchen to grab her phone dialing Brian’s number. Once Baylee was packed and settled into the car, they headed out. 

Brian smiled happily seeing Shirley’s car pull into the drive and headed out to greet them. Baylee smiled happily seeing his Dad on the porch but Shirley made him wait until his suitcase was out of the car. Baylee pushed the button and pulled the handle up before tipping and rolling it towards the house, Shirley and Jack following behind. 

“Hey Bubs!” Brian beamed. 

“Hey Dad!” Baylee replied, letting go of the handle and wrapping his arms around him. Brian sighed happily. He had missed his boy so much. 

“Where you good for Grandma and Grandpa?” Brian asked, his voice was hoarse, but understandable. 

Baylee gave a cheesy grin and nodded. Making Shirley and Jack chuckle. 

“Of course he was good, he always is.” Shirley grinned. 

“Uh huh.” 

Baylee grabbed the handle and rolled his case ino the house, Brian letting Shirley and Jack in as well. Once the door was closed, Jack slipped away to help Baylee unpack his things leaving Brian and Shirley alone. 

“How was he really?” Brian asked. 

“We had a couple of breakdowns.” Shirley admitted. “He found one of the photo albums and came across one of your wedding photos.” 

Brian’s eyes went wide as he looked at the woman in front of him. “What did you say?” 

She turned looking Brian in the eyes and he saw something there he never thought he would. There was guilt and regret running through her own eyes. He was shocked and surprised but focused on what she was saying. 

“I told him that he needed to ask you what happened to his Mother, I felt it needed to come from you.” 

“Thank you.’ Brian smiled gratefully. 

Shirley nodded before speaking again. “Where’s Heather? I need to speak with her.” 

Brian raised a distrusting brow but she didn’t bring attention to it knowing it was warranted. “I promise, I don’t want to start anything with her. I just want to talk.” 

Nodding Brian softly spoke, his voice cracking knowing he had used up his voice the day. “In..In...living..room.” 

The older woman nodded sadness on her face at the struggles Brian was facing and in a way felt guilty for that as well remembering back when she had asked him what he would do if the group ended, now there was a possibility of that really happening. Heading into the living room, she saw the younger woman sitting on the couch as she cleared her throat. Heather jumped slightly and turned. 

“Um...sorry I didn’t come say hi.” Heather stuttered softly, the uneasiness hitting her. 

Shirley walked over to her and sat down in the chair closest to her, the women didn’t look at each other for the longest time, neither not sure what to say to the other. 

“I wanted to apologize for how I’ve treated you.” Shirley suddenly spoke. 

“No, it’s okay…” Heather began but saw the older woman raise her hand. 

“It’s not okay, what I did was wrong. I didn’t even know you and had already judged and decided what kind of a person you were before getting to even know you.” 

Heather stayed silent biting her lip not sure what had caused the sudden change in the other woman. 

“I never should have fabricated those lies and put so much distrust into my daughter towards you or Brian.” She looked around the house and could feel her baby girl in every corner before looking back at the woman now sitting on the couch. 

“Don’t you feel uncomfortable living here?” Shirley asked. 

“Yes and no.” Heather admitted. “I know this will never truly be my house but it is my home now and even though Leighanne and I parted ways, I still saw her as a really good friend. I also know there’s a part of Brian that will always belong to her that I’ll never touch and I’m okay with that. She was his everything.” 

“I know she was and I see now that you really weren’t out to come between them, that you really were just a friend. Now you’ve become so much more, that little boy up there loves you so much.” 

“And I love him.” Heather reaffirmed. 

“I know you do and I know it’ll take time but I really would like to get to know you.” 

Heather smiled softly and nodded. “I’d like that.” 

Shirley stood as she saw Jack making his way back down the stairs walking over to his wife and pulling her to him. 

“Good to see you again Heather.” The older man smiled. 

“You too Jack.” Heather replied with a nod. “Baylee all settled in?” 

“Yes but he’s asking for you and Bri.” 

Heather smiled and got up showing the older couple out before closing the door and taking a deep breath, she felt such a weight be lifted off her shoulders after the talk with Shirley but now she had to help with Baylee. She made her way upstairs to the boy’s room knocking on the door seeing Brian already on the bed with him. 

Brian motioned for her to come in, his voice almost gone. 

She made her way to her boys sitting down on the other side of Baylee, getting an armful as she wrapped her arms around him. 

“You feeling better?” She asked. 

Baylee nodded curling close to her. “ A little, glad to be home. Missed you and Dad.” 

“We missed you too Bubs.” Heather replied. 

Baylee moved away and sat back down between them. He knew his Father wouldn’t speak the rest of the night but he had questions. 

“Can I ask some questions?” Baylee asked. 

Brian nodded and grabbed his book he had brought up with him knowing he would need it, he readied his pen and put his full focus on the boy between them. 

“Where’s my Mom?” Baylee asked. 

The grip around the pen tightened and the voices came back with their haunting words but Brian took a deep breath and began to write letting him see the words. “She’s in Heaven.” 

The tears were almost instant as Father and son kept their eyes on each other, Heather rubbing Baylee’s back in comfort as he choked out the next question. 

“Wh...what happened to her?” 

Brian looked up at Heather, his eyes pleading for her to step in. The resentment and guilt were back full force and Brian didn’t have the strength to fight both of them and answer Baylee’s question. He was determined to stay in the room but he needed help. 

Heather nodded and spoke softly. “Baylee, your Mother did something that showed her ultimate love for you. She saved your life by allowing God to take her home.” 

Baylee looked back and forth between the two adults before looking back at Heather. “It..it’s my fault?”  
Heather quickly shook her head and pulled him into her arms. “No baby no...Your Mom wanted you to live. She loved you so much and she would be so proud of the person you are growing into.” 

Baylee tightened his grip around her, the tears falling. She looked over at Brian seeing his own tears slipping down his cheeks as he fought the voices away once again. Heather leaned down and kissed the mop of curls gently. 

“Baylee, you’ve got an amazing guardian angel looking after you and you will meet her one day.” 

“You think so?” Balee asked, looking up at her. 

Heather smiled. “I know so.” 

Baylee sniffed and rubbed his nose, Brian getting up and going into the bathroom coming back with some tissue letting Baylee blow his nose. He kept his blue eyes on the woman holding him close. 

“Can I still call you Mom?” Baylee asked. 

“Baby boy, you can call me whatever you want.” Heather replied with a soft smile. 

Baylee relaxed in her arms, his body getting heavy from the emotions as he drifted off to sleep. Brian got up and helped her get his son into bed and under the covers before slipping out, pulling her to him and nuzzling her gently. 

“You’re welcome baby, I hope I did okay.” 

Brian nodded and gave her a thumbs up along with a goofy grin. Heather chuckled and shook her head. 

“You’re such a child.” She playfully teased. 

Taking to his book, he wrote something real quick letting her read it. “You love it.” 

With a smile she nodded. “I do.”


	21. Chapter 21

Time moved on and with it brought challenges to Brian and the group, his voice issue was at its worse and he avoided talking about it every chance he got, causing it all to come to the surface with the iconic fight between he and Nick in the Documentary they were working on while in London alongside the first album they had done together as a whole. Even at the premier, Heather shifted uneasily in her seat when the scenes were on. She was proud of them for keeping it in and showing fans that fights did happen and they could get heated. Brian was still going to therapy and knew he would be for a long time, he was doing everything he could but one day realized he was doing it for the wrong reasons, he was doing it for others and not for himself giving him a new sense of motivation to get better for him. It just wasn’t the group that was strained, Heather and Brian had their ups and downs as well. It was a struggle when his voice would go out despite the notebook being there for Brian to use. Heather had to take on a few more responsibilities for Brian. She hated being on the phone with people she didn’t know but she did it knowing those calls were important. 

Heather and Shirley had mended things, they weren’t the best of friends, but they were able to be in a room together without a fight breaking out and as the older woman learned more about her and why she along with her Mother had moved to Kentucky, her heart broke. Jack was also happy to see the women finally getting along. 

Baylee was growing like a weed, he was doing amazingly in school and his teacher had told Brian and Heather if he kept up the pace he was on, he could potentially graduate high school early. It gave Brian such a sense of pride knowing his son was not only smart but mature beyond his years. There were of course moments like with any child, but the boy was truly growing into someone Brian knew Leighanne would be proud of. They had talked more about Leighanne but there were still certain days where Brian needed to be away from his son. Heather would take Baylee out for the entire day not coming home until that night when Brian was calm. 

Brian never told Baylee what had happened the day of his birth until he was thirteen and now that he understood fully the sacrifice his Mother had made for him, he grasped and accepted that Brian would always need those few days away from him. He also realized Brian held it together for his birthday not wanting to make it any harder than it already was each year, but Baylee happily would disappear into the basement to write while his Father calmed down. 

Baylee looked out the window as they headed down the side road towards the cemetery, he hadn’t been here since he was two so he didn’t remember much, but Brian had told him what he had done that day. They were on their way to New York, he had gotten the lead role for a new Broadway production, but he wanted to visit his Mother first. 

Brian pulled into the small gravel drive and stopped the truck looking back at his son, clearing his throat the best he could. “Do…” He couldn’t finish looking at Heather. 

“Do you want your Dad to go with you?” Heather asked. 

Baylee nodded softly. “Just to show me where she is since it’s been so long.” Brian nodded and they got out, Heather sitting in the truck waiting for Brian to return. She watched them walk across the grass towards Leighanne’s grave. 

The silence was heavy, partly because of Brian’s voice being out but also because Baylee knew this was something his Dad still did on his own, but was thankful he was willing to bring Baylee out. He saw the black marble stone come into view, trying to ignore his Father’s own name on the grave. 

Brian looked at his son, asking with his eyes if he would be okay. Baylee nodded and watched his Father’s retreating back. Once he was gone, Baylee closed his eyes and took a breath before pulling his cowboy hat off and turning around walking closer to the stone. He remembered the story Brian had told him about when he was younger and like that time, Baylee reached out with his hand laying it against the L before speaking. 

“Hey Mom, it’s so good to finally get to talk to you.” Baylee began. “I know Dad usually comes to visit you when he needs to get away but I’m so glad I know the truth now.” 

The tears began to prick his eyes and he didn’t fight them, letting them fall. He finally felt he could truly grieve. He may not have known her, but she was still his Mother, the person who had willingly gave up her own life so he could live his. 

“Thank you for what you did Mom, I promise I’m gonna make you proud.” Baylee proclaimed, tears streaming, his hand never moving from the L. He wasn’t sure how long he had been kneeling there when he felt a soft hand on his shoulder causing him to jump and look up. 

“Sorry Bubs, Dad was getting worried.” Heather smiled softly. 

Baylee stood up putting his hat back on. “Yeah, I was just about to head back, I know we gotta get back on the road.” 

Heather nodded and they headed back towards the truck before Heather turned to look at the stone. “I love you and I’ll hold onto the promise I made to you so long ago.” 

“Mama! You coming?” Baylee yelled from the small hill. 

Heather smiled and nodded heading towards the boy she had helped raise and got back into the truck. With the roar of the engine, Brian pulled out and they headed down the road with a new sense of hope for the future. God may have taken Brian’s girl, but he was proud of not giving up on himself, Baylee, or Heather.


End file.
